


Not Your Average Job

by DownEarth



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 1st person pov, 2nd person POV, Blood and Gore, Changing of Prespective, Dave is emotional, Derse and Prospit, Everyone is open about their sexualities, F/F, F/M, Lotsa vomit good lord, M/M, Nightmares, Ratings may change, Skia, Zombiestuck, kinda OOC, lots of killing and death, multiple perpectives, what is wrong with me lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownEarth/pseuds/DownEarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and his crew are zombie hunters. It's a pretty fun job, so long as you have nothing to live for. While clearing out a deserted neighborhood, the group finds the one and only Dave Strider. Dave joins they crew, and shit goes down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John meets a Strider

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second fic, don't be too harsh. I'll try to continue this, but updates will definitely be sporadic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Egbert values lives more than anything else. Especially if its the life of a certain young Strider.  
> In which the author successfully fucks up characterization of Dave the second he's introduced.

I never thought my job would be easy. No, I accepted the fact that I would probably never return. But that never concerned me. After all, what was there to return to? The burnt shell of a place I once called home, two graves and a town full of sympathetic ninnies? Instead, I chose to become a zombie hunter. What's better than getting paid to kill the creature you hate? It sure is a hell of a lot better than sitting around on my ass, waiting for my demise.

“John, why the hell did you decide to take this job?”

“They offered medicine, Jade. real, chemical medicine. how was I supposed to turn that offer down?” Hammer slung over my shoulder, I watched my coworker bash in a zombie skull. She glanced over at me, waggling her eyebrows. I grinned, winking at her.

“Would you two please stop flirting? We have an objective, nookwiffers, or am I see only one who doesn’t want to get fucked by these infected fuckers?”

“Karkat, shut up. we aren't flirting. John isn't even straight.”

“Jade!”

A scream filled the air, jerking us out of our moment. “That sounded human.” We turned toward the origin of the noise, starting of at a brisk jog.

We rounded a corner, weapons up and ready for a fight. Instead, we were faced by an odd sight a few hundred yards away. A scrawny tree sat in the yard of a modest house, a teenage boy trapped in the tree house amongst its branches. His weapon of choice- a broadsword. He was staring at the zombies surrounding his tree as they began to climb the wooden ladder to his escape house turned prison. Another scream tore from his lips as the first of the horde pushed forth into his space. I caught my lip between my teeth, glancing over at my partners.

“I know what you’re trying to do, John, and if you think I’ll tag along like your fcking pet you were dropped on your head as an infant harder than we previously agreed.”

“Every uninfected human is important, Karkat. We can’t just let him die.”

Sighing, he raised his twin sickles. “Lets just get this over with and go the fuck home.” Looking over the rest of my wary group, I silently asked for their help.

“You know you don't have to ask, John. of coooooooorse we’ll help you.” The reply came from my ex, Vriska. She flung herself over-exaggeratedly onto my arm . I grinned and turned towards the looming threat. We began jogging quickly towards the boy, speeding up when he cried for help again. As soon as we were close enough to strike, the team leaped into action. Karkat, twisting and weaving around with his sickles like a maniac, slicing off heads like butter. Vriska, drawing her ancestors sword and tearing zombies to shreds. Jade smashing their skulls with the butt of her gun, Aradia was crushing them with floaty cars and yanking theirs heads off with her whip. Nepeta and Equius, fighting back to back, bare handed and bloody. Sollux, using his psionics to kill them in masses. We were the best team, it was us.

Instead of fighting with them, I ran towards the surrounded boy, smashing skulls with my awesome hammer of Zillywho occasionally. He was doing better, not just screaming off his head like a child but defending himself. The wave still threatened to crush him, and I wasn't going to let that happen. With a roar rivaling that of a mother bear protecting its cubs, I knocked a zombie head clean off its shoulders. Wasting no time, I killed two more and sprinted for the ladder. All the zombies had either climbed into the tree house or forgotten the boy, opting instead to go after my friends. An alarming amount had already gotten into shelter, chasing him out the windowsill and onto the thin, untrustworthy limbs.

I scrambled up the tree side, dead set on saving the boy. He was another possible teammate, and with the way this apocalypse was heading we needed all the hunters we could find. when i got into the tree house, I made quick work of decapitating all the zombies and creating a path to the window. with the hoard successfully thinned, I paused to catch my breath. As easy as I may make it look, swinging a hammer around all day takes a lot out of a person. Glancing out the glassless frame, I watched my fellow hunters work. Zombies rarely gathered in large numbers, seeing as their temper usually got the best of them and lead them to fight. It seems, however, than when there is a common goal they can work together, more or less. Today, their goal was to eat mystery boy and wreak havoc on my team- I was having none of that. With a low growl for my ears only, I advanced on the infected corpses still in the enclosed space. Raising my hammer over my right shoulder, and swung. The force of my swing took off two heads, and put a fatal wound in the side of the third's. I grimaced as green-red blood oozed out of the wounds for a second before the flow stopped, trailing down the lenses of my thick glasses. Only two zombies remained, the others either lying dead on the floor or scrambling messily down the ladder. I grinned, wiping the blood of my cheek and taking two big steps forward. A noise coming from the window startled me out of my offense mode, and I spun around, hammer up. It was the boy, desperately trying to climb back in from the window. I lowered my weapon slightly, mentally checking him for any infected wounds. I saw none, which was a good sign. It would be a shame if we had come so far just to kill him. His eyes widened as he watched me, mouth open in an 'o' of surprise. He darted over my shoulder, moving so quickly his form was a blur, and struck out. I dropped to the ground and rolled towards the window, ready to make a quick escape if need be. I turned around and watched as he pulled his thin sword out of a zombies body, already moving towards the second before the corpse even fell. In a flash the second's head rolled towards me, eyes still open. I gulped and shimmied away from it, looking up at my savior.

“T-thanks for saving me.” my voice cracked, much to my embarrassment. he took a deep breath, his back still turned to me, “Um, you alright?” I stood up slowly and closed the small gap between us, resting my hand on his shoulder. He jumped, as if he hadn't heard me shuffling towards him.

“Y-yeah. Just kinda in shock. I just killed someone. Like, their dead because of me. I knew him. He was my algebra teacher in seventh grade. I just killed my teacher. I mean like, I know every kid daydreas about that in class but I actually just cut off his head.” he turned towards me, eyes wide in shock and fear. “They’re dead. All of them. Bro, my girlfriend, everyone. Everyone...” he sank to his knees, his sword clattering on the untreated wood floor soundly and his hands moved to grip his hair. “Oh god, oh god. Everyone’s dead. Dead! There’s no bringing them back. They’re dead. I killed them. I killed my bro! Fuck!” his voice pierce the silence that had fallen across the neighborhood, hysteria lacing his words.

I knelt next to his, tilting his head to look up at me. “Listen, dude. Get a grip. There's no place for people who will break down at any given time in this world. Only the ones strong enough to deal with the fact that murder is no longer a crime will ever manage to live.”

He looked up at me, forehead creased in fear and sorrow. “I know. I know, I'm being stupid. Sorry.” He blinked and pulled his head out of my hands, looking at the worn floorboards. “All my life, I was the kid with the bright future. Good grades, nice, calm. Hell, I never spoke unless addressed. I would be the perfect lil’ southern belle back in the 1920's. I was gonna be a big shot photographer or an anatomist or some shit like that. Now that the world's practically over, I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do, really. All I know is how to use film cameras, where all the organs of a crow go, and how to swing around a shitty sword.” Something splattered on the floor in front of me, shaking me from my thoughts. A small darkened part of the floorboards blossomed slightly,  stretching out from the center. Shocked, I glanced at his face. Spots of red burned his cheeks, his whole face a blotchy pink.

“Hey, now. Cheer up! The world needs people like you, people who can bring joy to people who don't think anything good'll happen. Writers, artists, and everyone who creates is greatly needed. We'll make this the modern day renaissance! New art to bring us out of our own dark ages. New steps in science, and who knows what else. Trust me, bud. We'll make this work.” I had grabbed his shoulders at one point in the pep talk, and lightly shook him. Trying to take his mind off his most recent murder, I grinned like the goof I am. Although his smile didn't reach his eyes like mine, it was a start. Snatching his hand from where it laid on the floor, I led him down the ladder. My friends had cleaned up neatly, and were even burning the bodies. We had learned early in our hunts that zombies feared fire more that anything, and we had played that to our advantage many a times. It was just our luck that these corpses were almost dry from hunger- and thirst- that they burned like matches. Thick black smoke filled the sky, a warning to any zombies around us to back their tailbones out of there. Vriska walked up to me, her face grim. The smile that was previously on my face fell like my stomach. I knew that face; we had an injured one. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my greasy hair.

“Who is it now?” I was prepared for the worst, but the answer still winded me.

“Jake. His leg got bashed. All the way up to the knee is a bloody pulp. We have no choice but to amputate it, and we ran out of drugs this morning.” One flaw of living like we did, traveling; people were constantly getting injured and killed, and we never had enough medicine. I grabbed our guest's arm and towed him behind me as I followed Vriska back to our temporary camp.

It was a one story house, cement block walls and a heavily protected roof. The door was reinforced steel, the windows long since barred up. There was no sign on life anywhere in the yard, although I could hear the buzz of my group faintly. We hurriedly walked up to the door, knocking forcefully. While I was the friend-leader of our group, I didn't want to risk a bullet being sent through the new boy's head before we were even properly acquainted. That made me pause. I turned to the boy as the door started to open.

“Whats your name?” I asked, not caring about Karkat's glare sent my way.

New boy looked up, startled, as if he never realized we hadn't exchanged names. “Dave. Strider.”

I stuck out my hand. “John Egbert. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go help cut off a leg.”


	2. Jake's Gonna Miss That Leg...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank god John's done this type of stuff before, right?  
> In which the authors proves their disability to write amputations and a character dies.

I ducked under Karkat's arm and made my way into the busy hive. Two square tables had been dragged together to form a makeshift bed for Jake, who was laying there at the moment. His face was pale, with a tinge of green. From the knee down, his right leg was gnarled in absurd forms. I swallowed thickly, expelling the scent of blood and death from my nose with a mighty huff. I walked over, smoothing back the hair on his forehead and checking his temperature. He was burning up, a good sign at the moment. Had his temperature been lower than normal, there was the possibility that the virus had somehow gotten into his bloodstream and contaminated him before I even had the chance to save him.

“Jade, get him a cloth to bite.” My cousin scrambled over, a thick bundle of bloody fabric already in her hands. “Hey, bud.” I addressed Jake, resting my hand on the back of his. He cracked his eyes open slightly, scrunching his face up in pain. “We both know this is gonna hurt, but I need you to power through this. I'm gonna make you all better. Now, bite the rag- there's an obedient fellow. Hold her hand, if it makes you feel better. I'm gonna go at it, alright? Don't make too much noise.” I moved over to what was once his leg, gagging internally. Someone- presumably Karkat- handed me a mask. I gratefully accepted it, snapping it over my mouth before gently prodding the mass of bloody flesh. Behind me, Jake screamed into the gag. I glanced at him, giving him a slight warning before I dove in. Pulling out the small blade I use for these occasions, I began cutting away the tatters of his jeans. He tried to jerk away, but I had Sollux use his psionics to hold him down. Once all that was not part of his limb was gone, I began cutting through the muscle. He choked out a sob, biting into the rag so hard his mouth began to dribble blood. Immediately, someone was there to help him. I cutaway all the flesh I could before I had to begin moving it away in small chunks. When he saw what had been his leg, he promptly fainted. Honesty, it was probably better for his that he be out cold by now. I swapped my blade for a saw when I hit the bone. Luckily, I had bought all that I could for amputations at our last stop at a town. It had been put to use at least twice. The rest of the flesh was cut through post-haste, and clean gauze pressed against the main veins. The leg had been propped up heavily, of course, so that helped slow the blood flow, and he had a tourniquet tied at mid-thigh. I grabbed the needle offered to me, which had already been threaded. The point plunged into the thick skin and flashed back out the other end. I tied the stitch off, and started on the next.

The stitching took almost as long as the emergency amputation, because it was one of the most important parts. If the wound wasn’t stitched up properly, it could open back up, get the virus, or not heal properly and lead to life-long pain. After he was properly stitched up, I wrapped the stump in great lengths of our remaining gauze. We would need to get him to the nearest town as soon as possible, to insure his survival. For now, though, we would let him rest.

I was handed a partially clean handkerchief, which I used to mop the beads of sweat of my brow. Jade tucked her face into my collarbone as soon as I turned around, weeping freely. I pulled her into a tight embrace, pressing a kiss to her scalp. After all, it was just anyone lying on the surgery table. Jake was her older brother, her only living relative. I would do anything to save him, for her. Dave was still standing by the closed door, a look of awe on his face. I wondered if he had ever seen an amputation, but quickly cast my natural shock away. Most people here hadn't seen that much blood and grossness before I had to amputate Nepeta's foot. Once Jade had cried all of her tears and the rest of the group thanked me for yet another close call, I went to Dave. I grinned, stretching my shoulders.

“You're acting like you just won a race.” His face was stoic, a blank sheet of pale skin and freckles.

“Yeah, well, it's not my first time cutting off a limb.” I shrugged, wanting to forget my first amputation. I had to redo it a few weeks later, when the flesh started getting ugly. I felt so sorry for poor Nep, I even helped knit a cat paw cozy for the foot Equius made her.

Speaking about Equius, where was he? The big guy usually made an appearance the moment an amputation was finished, taking measurements for the robotic limb he would no doubt make. I asked Jade, the only person still in the room. She shrugged and pointed at the open door. As I started to exit, I heard Dave offer to help clean up the blood. I mentally thanked Jade for accepting his offer.

Outside everyone was sitting in a huddle, no doubt talking about Jake. I jogged over and joined them, elbowing into the inner ring of the gathering. Karkat was talking with the group, trying to be as gentle as he could be.

“I’m just saying, this is the biggest amputation we’ve done on our own. Wouldn’t it be best is we just left him at the closest town or someshit?He’d be safer than he would be with us, and it would be a fuckto easier to move again. Oh, John! glad you could make it, fuckass! What’s your input, ‘friend-leader?’” He always mocked the title I chose for myself. Something about it being ‘stupider than Vriska and her eights.’

I swallowed thickly. “I agree with your points, but how can we trust these towns? They could end up like that group of cannibals we stumbled upon a few months ago.” It had been bad, too. We lost two people, almost more. To think, perfectly healthy people eating human flesh. They were like the zombies from before the apocalypse. “Plus, don’t you think he would feel more than a little let down? We made a pact that we would stick together through thick and thin, the only exception being if someone was bitten. Jake’s part of the pact, whether he acts like it or not.” Often times, Jake would go out into the woods on his own to ‘think’. No one knew when he would come back, if ever. We had lost valuable time waiting for him to come back, not knowing if it was moot point.

“Joh human, you have to understand. Having Jake with us while he heals from this will oly slow u down, and Gog knows he have to move faster if anything. If we ca find a trustworthy house, we should leave his ass post-haste. Any town would be fucking insane not to accept him and all his muscled glory, even if he is missing part of a leg.” Begrudgingly I pulled out the map we had been working on. There was a town only ten miles away from us, in the totally opposite direction. If we could just clear this block, we would be done with our work and could return to the town, where we would gather our payment and leave. If we left Jake, it would be a simple accident. I told them this, and they all agreed that it would be the best choice of action. Then I asked about Equius.

“Y-yes John?” The mountainous man looked up at me from his seat of the ground, a sleeping Nepeta curled up in his lap.

“Do you think you could make Jake an artificial limb? I don’t want to leave the town with a burden. Anyone trying to expand like they are needs all the help they can get.” Equius nodded, glancing at the form in his lap.

“Karkat, if you could-” Before Equius even finished his sentence, Karkat swooped in and picked up Nepeta seemingly effortlessly. I snickered behind my hand before leading Equius into the house.

Equius had been whipping his measuring cord around Jake's stump for long than I cared to know. Of course it had to be perfect, but didn’t that get boring after a while?

Dave had come over to talk to me, so I was content with just sitting there for a while long. We spoke about our families, a very tender subject for the both of us. I was informed that Dave’s bro had raised him ever since he was found as a baby at an old record shop. Dave, in turn, learned that I was the one who had to kill my dad and younger sister. ‘Everyone else in the town was too wimpy to do shit’ were the words I had chosen to use.

“So what exactly are you guys doing around this neighborhood?” he asked eventually.

“My hunters and I go around and, well, hunt zombies. We take jobs to clear out places, and it turn get paid with medicine, food, and the like. It’s really a good trade off if you’re naturally violent.” Dave stared at me, jaw dropped slightly. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just awesome that the leader of this hella rad team is amazing at holding a grudge and also really well rounded and…” The end of his comment faded into a cough.

“Hmm? What was that last part?”

“What last part I didn’t say anything after well rounded what why would you think that.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Would it be weird if I joined? Or am I too wimpy? Because everyone here is so obviously bad-ass and I'm just this kid who breaks down after killing his math teacher. For the record, he was one of my favorite teachers.”

“Why didn’t you say you wanted to join before? Of course you’re welcome, silly. You’re so welcome, its crazy. You don’t even know how welcome you are.” I start ranting. It’s not like I didn’t want Dave to be with us; the exact opposite! I wanted Dave to join our group so badly, I would be willing to do anything. If that included begging, so be it.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to stoop to that level. The corners of his lips turned up, and his voice was light when he responded. “So long as your whole group agrees with that statement, I'd love to travel with you and bash heads in.”

I was all prepared to hop to my feet and get the groups say, just to prove my point to Dave, when the bunch of them piled inside the suddenly to-small house. Karkat sought me out, shoving Jade and a few others out of his way to shout in my ear. He carrying something that dripped blood on the liolium flooring, so drenched in the blood of the infected that I couldn’t tell what part of the body it was. His eyes were wide and full of pain and shock.

“They popped out of some bushes. We didn’t have time to react before they grabbed her… I’m sorry John, I’m so sorry. I know what she meant to you.”

What was he talking about? Everyone I cared about was here- Jade, Nepeta, Karkat, Aradia. Who were we missing? Then it hit me. The only girl on my team I had ever had interests in, Vriska. I'd had my sights on her even after I had come to terms with my sexuality. Now that I knew what to look for, I saw stains of her blue blood on Karkat's hands. My tongue flicked out over my lips, which had grown chapped while I thought.

“I'm gonna go... To the roof. Yeah, the roof sounds good. Okay, um, I'll come back and talk to you guys in, like, thirty minutes.” I pulled a smile, hoping it would reassure them of my well-being. False safety was better than knowing the bleak future, wasn't it? I turned around too quickly, a choking sob threatening to bubble from my tightly sealed lips. As I made my way up the stairs, I heard a chair fall back. Someone start to follow me, but Karkat stopped them with muttered words. It hurt, honestly, to have him think he knew me so well. But, I suppose if my follower could be so easily stopped by Karkat he shouldn't be the one to comfort me. Perhaps he was just looking out for me in his own way. I didn't know, nor did I care.

 


	3. Dave Isn't Homo, I Swear!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave Strider, smooth-talk extraordinaire.   
> Once again, the author can not write Dave correctly. My apologies.

You didn't really peg John as the girlfriend type. Guess that just shows how little you actually know. After Karkat told him the news and he excused himself, you wanted to go follow. You really did. But the hand Karkat placed on your sternum and the words he whispered in your ear discouraged you a bit. Maybe, just maybe, you would have listened to him if he hadn't threatened to 'force feed you his bulge.' Fucking trolls, always making a big deal about their tentacle dicks. While you most certainly do have a thing for roleplaying, the image of him pinning you down was too funny to take seriously. After waiting for the right breeze to come by- three minutes and twenty-seven seconds of waiting- you threw all caution to the wind. In a blur of motion to fast for the naked eye to follow, you flash-stepped around him and up the staircase. Silently, you opened to door and escaped onto the roof. John was sitting on the air conditioning unit, staring over the edge in a way that made your skin crawl. You made your presence known with an ironic throat clearing, smiling when he turned your way in shock. His expression effectively wiped the smirk off your face. His face was scrunched up in pain, a few loan tears slipping down his cheeks. you strode over to him and hugged him, tucking his face into your chest. Sobs reached your ears and you felt him shake in your arms.

“Hey buddy. It's... well, I don't want to say its alright but... It'll get better. Scouts honor.” A chuckle joined the sobs, taking some of the weight off of your chest. You was afraid he would take that the wrong way, but it seemed he was well taught in the ways of jokes.

Eventually he pulled his face from your chest, eyes still bloodshot. “You know you didn't have to comfort me, right Dave? You're new and shouldn't have to worry about your friend-leader's emotional well-being.” You wanted to tell him the truth as to why you had come up to join him, but that response depended on many things.

“Well it didn't look like anyone else was gonna come hug you, and I don't want someone as cool as you to suffer alone.”

“Well I appreciate it. I just really want someone to talk to. Can you be that someone? The person I can trust? My shoulder to lean on?” The look in John's eyes was too sad to deny.

“Of course. This will be the best broship ever, you won't even believe it.” He chuckled and tucked his face into the nook between your neck and shoulder. You grinned, only because you knew no one would be around to see your rare, sincere smile even if it didn’t quite reach your eyes. A broship, that’s all he wanted. Nothing else.

You sat up there on the roof for god knows how long. The sun had set, drowning the horizon in a rainbow of blood. The pained moans of zombies tinkled of into a whisper as the night dragged on, the corpses sleeping where they stood. The term 'sleeping like the dead' was never more true now, in the apocalypse; Once they fell asleep, usually one to two hours after the setting of the sun, it was impossible to awaken them until the sun rose.

It was a blessing, giving the uninfected time to access the extent of their injuries and cover ground. For now, though, this group would stay where they were. The boy who had lost his leg would probably wake up from his haze of pain after a while, and who knows how much sleep you would get after that.

In the end, Jade came up to get us. John had fallen asleep on your shoulder, his mouth open slightly. Your eyelids were just beginning to get heavy beneath your shades when you heard her loud footsteps as she raced up the stairs. When the door was flung open, you expected her to slow down. Instead, she came running toward up full-speed. Preparing for impact if it came to that, you shifted john's head onto the concrete. At last she stopped, less than a foot away from you. Through her panting, she began to explain what had gotten her to on edge.

“Some virus... got in Jake's leg... His wound began to ooze... Green-red blood. We're going to have to... Kill him.” She sniffled, wiping her eye.

You frowned, chewing on your cheek as you thought out loud. “The green-red blood is definitely that of a diseased body. Has our friend awoken yet?”

Jade nodded solemnly. “He woke up an hour ago. He was the first one to see his blood. Everyone but you guys woke up when he screamed bloody murder.”

You flinched when she commented about our lack of attention towards them. “Don't worry Dave. Its not like anyone blames you guys. John has had a rough night, and you're a nice friend for coming up here to comfort him.”

Yeah, nice friend indeed.

“I suspect you know the defense mechanism they have, then?”

She furrowed her brows. You sighed in response.

“When someones bitten, they take two to three days to transform entirely. They go through lack of hunger and thirst, hair loss, paleness, low temperatures, the works. They're also invincible; despite all your attempts, there's no end for them.” You shrugged.

Once the apocalypse started, you had taken to people watching- er, zombie watching. Their habits were easy enough to pick up on, and you started to watch people once they were bitten. Usually they went into a comma for an hour or two, then the symptoms started. You thought all this stuff was common knowledge, but then again you had thought the first twenty decimals of pi were common knowledge in fourth grade.

“Do you mind if I go talk to him?” Jake would need someone to explain what was going to go down to him, and you was the best option at the moment. Jade looked at me, then at John, and back and me. You cursed under my breath.

“I'll stay with him, and tell him where you are when he wakes up. You get to explain our predicament to him though.”

“Fair enough.”

Down inside the house, the group was in disarray. Karkat was shouting, Aradia was sitting in the corner rocking back and forth, Nepeta was trying to slit Jake's throat, Equius was pulling her off of him time after time, and Sollux was shouting lisped curses at anything that moved.

“Yo, shut the fuck up.” Your voice had about as much impact as could be expected; none. Walking up behind Karkat, you grabbed him in a choke hold. That shut him up efficiently. “Did y'all hear me? I said shut. The fuck. Up!” They all turned to look at you, wondering who or what has quieted the scream ball of anger that was Karkat. Sollux was the first one to speak up.

“Who are you, nookwiffer?” Pulling your hand away from Karkat's mouth, where he was trying to bite it, you glared at the troll. The effect was muffled somewhat by you aviators, but the message was clear.

“I'm David Elizabeth Strider, here to explain to your buddy Jake what shit’s going to go down.” You extract yourself from Karkat, narrowly dodging his claws. Nearing the tables-doubled- hospital bed, you see the character who caused this uproar. His lips were pale for gogs sake. “Damn son. How long have you been infected?”

“Who thaid you could talk to him?” Sollux snapped.

“Jade did, and I got the impression she is of higher ranking than most of you.” You turned around and face him, tempted to push up your shades to give him a 'look'. Temptation is barely avoided.

Jake looks up at you, his eyes wet with the promise of tears. “Please don't kill me. I don't want to die.”


	4. Dave's Inner Texan Shines Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave knows a lot about the infected. After all, he had a brother.  
> The author sucks at putting emotion into their writing.

Something catches in your throat, making you blink repeatedly.

You probably just swallowed your saliva wrong or something. “Well, I hate to be the bearers of bad news but... There's no cure. Its die or become a stumbling corpse with no thought or emotions.”

“How do you know there's no cure? There has to be a cure. I can't die. I have a family, a future! I’m Jake English, I’m not supposed to die right now! Do something, anything, I don’t want want to die.”

Something in your chest snapped, like a rubber band stretched to the limit. “If there was a cure, my bro would still be alive. My sister, too. And my best friend. Do you think they didn't have a future? Do you think they weren't my family? What fantasy word are you living in? This disease don't care if you're a toddler or an adult. Everyone's gonna fall victim to it eventually. Just accept that you at least get an easy way out.”

Everyone shrank back as your quiet conversation with Jake because full on shouting. “Now, I'm going to tell y'all how shits gonna go down. First- don't bother makin' this fellow here food. He won't eat it; diseased don't hunger for our type a food. If you find hairs an flakes of skin roun' here, don't worry. That's jus' one a the many symptoms. Notice his skin gettin' pasty as mine? Is he gettin' cold an' dry to th' touch? Ain't no thang- that's what happens. On the las' night of his transition, an the boils that grow on his shoulders, back, neck an upper arms burst, you shoul'nt worry 'bout it. The green-red sticky mess thats comes out of it's just his blood. It's that night that ya wanna watch em, wait for em to try t' bite ya. Then ya cut of his head, plain an' simple. Any questions?” You look around at their faces, taken back by the fear in their expressions. Shit, you got away from yourself there. Started yelling, probably let your accent bleed through.

“Good.” You turned and walk quickly away from them, frowning. When you make it back up to the roof, it's just in time to see John wake up. Jade takes one look at your face and scurries down the stairs, murmuring a 'sorry for your loss'. You pause for a second, confused, until John explains things.

“This house may be protected from zombies, but its not exactly soundproof.”

“Shit.”

“That's what I thought.”

You sit down next to John, running your fingers through your hair. “So, uh, your buddy Jake.”

John goes stiff beside you. You glance over at him and notice that his hands are fisted in his shirt, knuckles white. “...You were yelling... At Jake?”

You tilt your head back, sighing. “I hate to be the break it to ya, but Jake ain't gonna make it. Once the disease takes hold, there's no saving em.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I didn't raid a pharmacy for nothing once bro got bitten.” Your shoulders droop. Two times bro has been mentioned in one day. That must be a new record.

“I know you tried to save him, but there must have been something you didn't try. There's always a chance, right?”

Everyone questioning your devotion to Bro was starting to get on your nerves. Spinning to face John, you grab a fistful of his shirt. “Listen. The pharmacy was literally empty. I gave him Viagra for gods sake. I'm not sure if it was his immune system rebelling or the drugs that killed him. How hard is it for you guys to grasp the idea that we're all gonna die?” Your shoulders jerk forward and your chest does something funky, but you swallow down your sob. As if you were gonna start crying, especially now.

John took a deep breath and tried to worm the cloth out of your fingers. When your grip only got tighter, he gave up and looked at your face. “Dave, shoosh.” John patted and petted your cheek, trying to calm you down. Strangely, it worked. The lump in your throat dissolved, your muscles loosened, and you let out a deep sigh.

He looked up into your now relaxed face.  “So, maybe there is no cure. But if we have that attitude, why not kill ourselves? We have to believe there is a cure. We just have to find it.” You nod dejectedly.

“Now, that being said, we probably won't be able to find a cure for Jake before he, uh, transforms.” Looking up, you notice that his face is twisted with emotions.

“You wanna do the honors, or should I?”

“You would probably be the best choice. Not as attached as everyone else in the group.”

Although his comment stung, it was true. You didn't know Jake, not like everyone else in this group. You wouldn't feel as conflicted as everyone else when it came down to the dirty deed of murder.

“How do you want to go about doing this?” Your question is automatic; his response is not.

“Well, um, I don't want everyone to hate you but... As soon as they will allow it, we need to get him isolated. That way, when he... ah... transitions, he won't be an immediate threat.”

“Fair enough. How soon do you think that'll be?”

He pauses, thinking. “Probably another day, at the least. They're a very sentimental crew.”

“Dude, just last night we sat up here, you crying on my shoulder. You're a part of that 'sentimental crew.'”

He stuck his tongue out at you, making a 'pbth' sound. You call him a dork, to which he responds, “And I'm proud of it!”

All too soon, you're reminded of what you'll have to do in just two days time. It's harsh; when you go down to the interior of the house, you are greeted by cold stares and pursed lips. Karkat looked like he's ready to bite your jugular, and that is not something you want to happen any time soon. You're almost as scared of him as you are of the stumbling corpses banging at the boarded-up door. Speaking of zombies...

“So, like, when do you guys have to wrap up this job?” You voice is quiet, and John barely hears you. After being forced to repeat what you said, he looks at you quizzically.

“Within the next week. Why?” You don't want to answer him, you certainly don't want to answer him, but even more you don't want to ignore him.

“Nothing, I was just wondering because... Um, before we go, can we stop by my apartment? I need to grab some shit. It's pretty sentimental and I don't want to leave without it. Bro's memory and all that shit.”

You clear your throat, feeling awkward. You aren't good at emotions, goddamn it. John understands you discomfort and smiles faintly. Putting your arm around your shoulder, he walks with you over to Jake's table.

“So, you come to apologize, David Elizabeth Strider?” You flinch at the use of your middle name; Bro used it when ever he was proud of you. Every memory of him was a harsh reminder of his death, and you don't want to be reminded of you lack of family.

Luckily, you don't need to respond to his rude question. John did that for you. “Listen, Jake. There's no cure, you know that. Dave here's kind enough to, uh, solve our problem, but as he explained before we can't do that until you're, well, fully turned. It was decided that it was best you be isolated, so when you get, uh, hungry, you won't be a threat to the group.”

Jake glared at me, quickly picking up that this was my idea. “So now new kid's the one calling shots?” Everyone in the room turns to look at you, confused and worried.

“What shots are Dave calling?” Nepeta's high pitched innocent voice filled the silence, asking the question they were all wondering.

Jake responded before you of John can even think to. “He wants me out of the house as soon as he can. Because I'm a 'liability.'”

Karkat immediately opened his mouth to yell at you, but John jumped in. “Jake's been bitten, and we don't know when he's going to turn. I don't want anyone else to be killed during this trip. We've already lost two. You have to think about the safety of the group before your own wellbeing; didn't we agree on that?”

Jake glared at you and John, because he knew John was right. This wasn't just about the boy with the disease, it was about the whole group. John especially liked Jake, and even he agreed with you that he had to be contained.

Karkat slowly closed his mouth, taken aback by the raw emotion in John's voice. Jade stepped up. “I love Jake like a brother, and I wish there was a way to save him from the ruthless disease. But I also care about my group, and I can't have anyone else die than is necessary. I'm sorry Jake.” Her eyes wavered, filling with tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. Jake looked up at her, brow creasing as he chewed on his lower lip.

“See? We don't want you to die. Not even Dave-.”

“Of course I don't want you offed, even if you are a dick.”

“-But I won't allow anyone else to die because we wanted just a few more minutes with you. I can't have that on my conscience. Please tell me you understand?”

Jake sighed, closing his eyes momentarily. “Why do you guys have to be so nice? Why can't you just throw me out to the dogs? That way I wouldn't have to be doing this.” He looked back up at John and you, brow heavy with certainty. “Lock me up. Don't let me bite anyone. Don't let anyone else be brought down with me. Don't let it happen. Promise me.” Jake reached out and before anyone could react, grabbed you by the front of your shirt and dragged you in front of him. “Kill me before anyone else dies. I don't care how, just do NOT let anyone else die.”

Gulping audibly, you nodded. His grip was strong for someone fighting against an unbeatable virus; stronger than Bro's, even. He let you go and you brushed off your shirt, acting unfazed while underneath your facade you were stressed. Everyone cared so deeply about this boy. Would you really be able to kill him? Looking into his dark green eyes, you felt a wave of calm wash over you. If he trusted you, if the whole group trusted and backed you up, you could do it.

“Alright, we need to get him somewhere with strong walls and a strong door, preferably no windows.” You barked out directions, a sense of order putting your at ease more so than the chaos that had been taking place in this room minutes prior. People began slowly filling out, searching the many room of the building you were in. John stayed by your side, his hands finding their way to your shirt sleeve and latching on. When you look at him, quirking your eyebrows, he blows his bangs out of his face.

“You're my rock, right? I was under the impression that that gives me the option of hugging on you.” You chuckled and ruffled his hair, the pads of your fingers scratching against his scalp as you bask in the silkiness of his hair. He headbutted you in retaliation, muttering something about his hair being 'dirty and gross and why are you still touching it?'

Sollux re-entered the room eventually, reporting that the house had a basement. “The walls are reinforced with cement, but the door is just a hatch.” You ask him to take you to take you there, which he did.

The musty room was dark, shadows only banished by the single flickering, yellow light bulb suspended by a chain. The walls were rough and thick, and left a pale scratch on your arm when you accidentally rubbed against one. The floor was dirt, packed down firmly. The room was bare of anything; furniture, food supplies, even spiders.

“The room seems fitting. Ready to move him in?”


	5. Okay, Maybe He Is A *Little* Homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Dave finally found his strifing match?

“But the door, Dave. It's just plywood.” John whined at you, pulling at your sleeve.

“Chill, Egbert. We can just put something heavy over it, problem solved.” He frowned at you, but you just waved him off. The zombie was only going to be down there for a day, tops. The undead couldn't break through oak in that little time. If they could, you would have died a while ago.

Jake was moved into the basement soon after it was discovered. He was left with his two tables and a blanket, to warm him up. The house was quiet, and it made you anxious. Up on the rooftop, you loosened up your muscles and practiced you swordplay, attacking the air conditioning unit with the flashing speed your brother taught you. You were so absorbed in your training, you didn't notice John had come up to watch you until you felt his hand on your shoulder. You jumped and spun around, swinging your blade on instinct, and froze, the end of the sword inches from his throat.

Letting out a shaky breath, you lowered your broadsword and leaned back against the air conditioning unit. “God damn it, John. I could have killed you. Don't know know better than to touch someone with blades? You call for them from a safe distance!”

“I tried to do that, but you didn't hear me! I was yelling at you for five minutes, Dave. Five minutes. My throat hurts now, because of you. I hope you're happy.”

Rolling your eyes, you pick yourself up and go to clean off your blade. “Hey, Dave. I haven't had a chance to practice today, and the corpses are all going to bed. Want to strife?”

You eye him suspiciously, moving your sword to rest on your shoulder. “What makes you think that would be safe? My blade cuts through skin like butter, and I've seen you with that hammer. We could kill each other.”

“We wouldn't put the usual amount of strength behind our swings. Plus, I know how to stitch up a wound.”

You could tell he wasn't going to back down, and to be honest you kind of wanted to test his skills. Sighing, you hefted up your weapon. “Draw your hammer, shorty.” A large blue hammer is selected from his weapon modus and you look at it suspiciously. How could a boy his size properly use a hammer of that size? The head was three times as wide as your blade, and broadswords are famous for their width. How were you ever going to beat him?

Still, you couldn't let your fear show. “You are going down, punk.” You lift your sword and point it at his chest, face stoic. He laughed loudly and hefted his hammer, bicep flexing in a way you were sure was unnecessary.

“Ready?” he asked as he practiced a swing.

“As I'll ever be.” Taking a breath, you bring up your blade. A loud clang filled the air as the iron head of the hammer connects with the lower half of your sword. Taking a step back to gain balance, you swung your sword around your head in a sweeping motion and brought it down, where it was bound to connect with John's shoulder if he didn't react.

Luckily he did, jumping back and raising his big weapon to block your blow. His arms quivered with the strength behind your swing, and he quickly glanced your sword to the side and raised his hammer over his shoulder, swinging it level to your head. You duck quickly, dropping all your weight to your feet and rolling to the side. You pop up and dart forward, kicking his hammer out of his hands.

The tip of your blade pricked his thigh and brought blood to the surface, but he ignored the slight wound and dived after his hammer. You came after him, sword over your head a bracing yourself for the finishing blow. At the last second he got his hands on the handle of the hammer and brings it up, holding it out in front of him to block the strike. Vibrations traveled up your arms, tempting you to drop your blade. You instead tighten your grip and jump back. This time you're on the defense, glancing his first strike off with the flat of your sword. His next hit clips your shoulder, the force muffled by your block but still jarring all the same. He begins to lower his hammer, but you grin and launch forward, sword aimed at him gut. He stumbles backwards a few steps before regaining his balance.

After both of you were hit, it got easier to fight. Many strikes and counters were served, a few more cuts and scrapes handed to the both of you. Eventually you two come to a mutual agreement to call the end of the strife, due to drop-dead exhaustion. You lower your weapons and clasp hands, congratulating each other on your stamina and skills.

You were sprawled out on the roof of the house, looking at the night sky unaffected by unnatural light for miles every way. The lanterns and bonfire below you had gone out hours ago, everyone settling down to sleep. Except for you and John, of course. You two were watching the sky, talking about everything and nothing. The stars were bright, tiny pin pricks in the sky. The milky way was spilled to your right, the abrupt near-whiteness just the type of abstract beauty that left you breathless. You pointed it out to him, mumbling about how shocking it was that nature could create something so random, yet it still be beautiful.

“Dave, sometimes I wonder how you can be so talkative. Like, how is it physically possible?” John turned onto his side to stare at you, propping his weight up on his forearm. You turned over to look at him too, smirking.

“There's so much awesome in me, it balances out.” He reaches out to pull off your shades, but you flinch back and almost hit your head.

“You can't be able to see right now. Come one, Dave. It's just you and me.” Still, you shake your head.

“You're not ready. If I showed you my eyes now, you would be blinded by the cool. I'm doing this for your own safety.” John snorted, obviously not fooled, and rolled onto his back again.

“Who was your first kiss?” The question was random, making you think.

“Haven't had it yet, unless you count cheeks kisses.” It as embarrassing, and you were glad you didn't have to look him in the face to say it.

His head flopped over to the side and he stared at you, mouth agape. “You haven't ever kissed a person?”

“And I suppose you have?” It wasn't the best response, but you were quick to defend yourself. It's not a shameful thing to be keeping that  'first' status for someone who deserved it. Honestly, you would be surprised if he had had HIS first kiss yet. With those buck teeth it would be hard to get the right angle.

“Of course I have. I'm a sixteen year old boy, I've had my first kiss. Not saying it was very good, per say, but it was a kiss.”

“Well, who was it?” You couldn't help but be jealous of the person who had beat you to it, and asking was a sure fire way to figure out who you had to go beat up.

“It was, um, Jade.” He rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly. Well, that wasn't what you expected. You sure as hell didn't want to go beat up her, mostly because you were unsure if you could beat her. “I don't like her, and I didn't then. It was kind of an experiment. We agreed to learn how to kiss, only so that the next person we actually like wouldn't have to deal with teaching us everything in the book.”

That seemed like a reasonable agreement. “I have to say, I was not expecting that. Seems like a sick agreement though. Was she good?”

“The first time? Not at all. Neither of us were. Why, do you want to ask her to 'teach you how to kiss'?” He snorted and you reached over blindly, smacking his chest.

“More along the lines of, I was wondering if she taught you anything useful.” Wow, smooth Dave. He definitely wouldn't call you out on your obvious flirting. He probably doesn't even swing for your team.

“Oh yeah, we taught each other some awesome stuff. When I had a relationship with Vriska she was shocked, to say the least. That didn't last very long, of course.”

“Why didn't it last long?” Curiosity killed the cat, but you're not a cat so you can be as curious as you want.

“I figured out I didn't really like her that way. You know, because she was a girl.” John cleared his throat, filling the silence you had lapsed into while you were mentally celebrating.

“Oh, sorry. Just thinking. If you're not into girls that way, then what do you consider yourself?” True, there was a large possibility that he was into your gender, but you're not ignorant. You know there is more than straight and gay. Hell, even you classified as somewhere in between.

“Oh come on, don't make me say it. You know what I mean.  If I say it, it'll make things awkward.” He squirmed where he was, legs flailing slightly.

“I actually don't know what you mean. There are more than two sexualities, you know. Asexual, bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, the list goes on and on.”

“Oh. Well, um, I'm a full fledged homo. How do you know so many different types?”

“I try to know my options. At the moment I identify as bisexual but, hey, that can always change depending on the people around me.” You look over at him, grinning. He reaches out to slap your arm, but pauses a moment before striking your skin roughly, and his hand just sort of rests on your forearm. You swallow slowly, and look from his face to his hand and back.

“So, um, does that mean you wouldn't be opposed to a, uh, relationship with a guy?”

“That's basically what bisexual is, John. I'm open to a relationship with guys, gals, and anyone in between.” You try to tell yourself that he's just curious, but you're hard to convince when his hand is on your arm.

“Oh. Thats... Cool.” He lays back down and sighs, watching the scenery above him. “Stars are so interesting. They look like they’re right in front of you, like fireflies that you can just reach out and scoop up in your palm, but their so far away you’ll never be able to reach them. Something so close, but it’s too far away to even see properly.”

You watch him, barely listening to his words, rather watching his expressions. When he talks about something he values so greatly, like the world's beauty or his friends, he gets a little crease between his eyebrows. The corners of his mouth faintly turn up and he seems to forget he was talking to anyone but himself. It was fascinating, truly.

When you woke up, you were shivering. Only half conscious, you turned over onto your side and latched onto John, who was laying down where you two had fallen asleep and was at the moment talking to Jade about something or other. He froze for a moment, then went back to conversing as if what you were doing was perfectly normal. You tucked your face into his side, near his armpit. Chuckling, he rested his large, calloused hand on top of your head and began running his fingers through your hair. The rough skin on the pads of his fingers caught on your fine hair and pulled at it slightly, but you were too caught up in the contact to care.  Without a second thought you wrapped your legs around one of his. It was more of an action to leach his warmth than anything, but when his speech grew choppy you chuckled sleepily and proudly. He smacked your head and you flinched back, hissing at him. You opened your eyes a hair and immediately closed them again, growling.

“John, where the hell are my shades.” You can tell your voice is slurred and gravelly, like a drunk's, but you were going to get a headache if you didn't put your shades back on your face right the fuck then. Holding out your hand, you waited patiently for a few seconds before snapping at them again. “I swear to god if you don't give me my sunglasses back right now, someone here isn't going to be able to walk. Wanna know a secret? It won't be me.” You feel cold metal pressed into your palm and you quickly slip them back on your face, sighing when you can open your eyes without getting an immediate migraine. You take a moment to look at both of them,  disapproval obvious on your face. “Why did you take off my shades?”

John clears his throat awkwardly. “You had fallen asleep with them on and they looked like they were digging into the bridge on your nose.” That... Wasn't what you were expecting. You nod, muttering a quiet thank you before stretching and standing up.  Jade hops up, eager to report any new happenings within the group.

“Dave, I was just explaining to John about our plans after Jake is... Taken care of.”

John nods, getting up to his feet gradually. “We could really use your judgement on our action plans. Of course, we're going to finish clearing out the block we were assigned, but after that out plans are blurred, to say the least. I was planning on searching the immediate areas, to check if there are any survivors who are willing to join our cause. Even if they don't join our group of elite hunters, we could always transport them safely back to the nearest safe house we know of. You see, my group and I have been putting together a map of sorts. It's slow work, but we'll do anything we can contribute to the rebirth of humanity. Aradia is our best cartographer, if you want to see what we have already done.”

You nod, pocketing that tidbit of information should you need it in the future. “How many copies of your maps do you have?” In case of separation, you believe everyone in a small group- such as this one- should have some means of survival and regrouping.

“We have been short on paper, so our copies are few. If you know of any place with an abundance of printer paper, it would be greatly appreciated.”

“Well, you could always break into houses. If they have a printer, they're bound to have paper for it.”

Jade pipes up after your back and forth banter. “You can continue this conversation later. Right now, we need to discuss our course of action.” She looked at John, who nodded.

“We have already agreed that you will be staying with us, correct?”

You're quick to assure them. “Of course I'm joining you guys. Who would keep you alive if I left you all on your own?”

“Dave, I think in all honesty you would be the who would need the most protection. You were a dead man before we swooped in and saved the day.”

You waved him off, despite your mental agreement with him. You were hopeless without a group to back you up, and you knew that, but you weren't going to boost his ego any more. “So, my apartment isn't that far from here. Do you want to go grab my extra belongings before or after Jake is executed?”

John bites his lower lip and worries it, thinking to himself. “I think it would be best if you could do it before Jake, so once we are done here we can hit the road and hit some corpses. I think we all will need it, after going through this. Do you think tonight, after the sun sets, you would be willing to make a dash for your stuff?”

“I would need a partner to watch my back, but other than that it sounds like a fool-proof plan. Are you going to assist me, Egbert, or am I going to have to beg Harley to accompany me to the death site of my brother? His body is still there and everything. You can see him and all his disease racked glory. Doesn't that sound splendid?”  

 


	6. Cool Kids Have Nightmares Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day, a new task. Some house raiding occurs, and Dave has a bad dream.

John gagged and grimaced, shaking his head. “You're not doing a very good job of convincing me to join you, if that's what you're trying to do.”

Jade backs away with her hand up when you look to her. “Don't even think about asking me to come with. John is your friend and he will play his role, and that includes helping retrieve objects of intrinsic value. Go on Johnny, make your plans with your bestest buddy. Do it.” With that, she skips to the door and rushes down the stairs, eager to get back to the main gathering.

You turn to John, smirking ever so slightly. “So... When do you want to go on our midnight rendez-vous? Today, tonight, tomorrow, tomorrow night,  it's up to you broski.”

John snorts at the nickname and shrugs. “I feel like going tonight would be our best choice, seeing as tomorrow we'll be assembling our collection of shit and most likely 'borrowing' from the houses around us. Tomorrow night, Jake might reach the final step of his transition and you need to be present for that. Plus, going at night would assure our safety. No undead, no bites, no worries. Today we might be able to raid a few of the neighboring houses, but nothing too extreme. We're down two members of the team, and we can't risk losing anyone else.”

“Alright, sounds awesome. Lets go down stairs and raid some peeps.” You rub your hands together eagerly, excited to be jumping right back into the action.

John leads the way down, shouting a loud 'Everybody gather 'round' to collect the group. “Alright, so. Today is just going to be a lazy day, I know you guys don't get those enough. The neighboring houses might have some useful stuff; food, medicine, the like. If you guys want, you can take small groups and rummage through them. Aradia, if you're willing we can find some more paper and you can make us a few more maps. We could always use more copies. Tonight Dave and I will be going to his old apartment and getting some stuff of his. Tomorrow we'll be taking inventory, packing up, and raiding for anything else we need. Tomorrow night or the next day, after taking care of Jake, we will be moving on. We finish this job, receive our reward, and continue making our map. Any questions?”

You were amazed at how easily John slipped into the role as leader. It was like a whole new person, one with responsibility and power. No one questioned him or his instructions, just got to it. They dispersed, everyone going either to their designated resting place, to make raid groups, and to talk with John.

Aradia approached John first. “Where am I to get paper to make the maps?”

“I'm going to join in on exploring the other houses, and I'll make sure to grab a bunch.” She nods and leaves, letting the next person talk to him. It's Sollux, asking if he can lead a group to raid. John approves of his plan, and agrees to go along. You tag along as well, as a way to pass time.

The house is more stocked than you would expect. Immediately after killing the past owners of the house, John rushed into the bathroom to find any medicine. He filled up the bag he had brought over with band-aids, Tylenol, allergy drugs, and anything that could be used. After that, he goes into the master bedroom and rips the cream colored sheets off the bed. When you ask him what those are for, he explains how much easier it is to use the thin fabric as bandages, and it gets cold on the road.

You, on the other hand, are assigned food pick up. In the kitchen you fling open the cupboards and cabinets. The house was stocked with boxed and canned food. The owners had been quick to act, stocking up on non-perishables once the first infection reports were televised. Cans of beans, soup, meats, and anything else were dumped into your large duffel bag. Boxes of rice, crackers, cereal, and anything you could find was stacked in the bag Sollux threw at you. Behind cleaning material underneath the sink, you found a stockade of unopened juice and water jugs. You hauled them out and called Equius what you should do with it. The liquids were packed away with the cans in the duffel bag, the large jugs of water set next to the bag. You sneaked a half-gallon jug of apple juice into the backpack you had filled with boxed foods, then made your way to John. He was rooting through the linen closet, grabbing thick woolen blankets and throwing them at the growing heap beside the bag half filled with medicine. You silently folded up the heavy cloth, wondering aloud how you were going to carry all these bags.

“We have a car, parked back at the village we're doing this job for. Once these blocks are cleared we go back, collect our payment, and drive the car out here to pick up the bags. We have a siphon, so we never really have to worry about running out of gas. Too many crashed cars to really run low, except out in the country. And we always have cans of gas with us, in case we're chased out by villagers or zombies.” He moves on from blankets to soap. Under the bathroom sinks once again, he now tosses individually wrapped bars of soap at you. Next is the unopened bottles of shampoo and body gel, and razors. Shaving cream and hair conditioner was left behind; there was no room in the bag for such unnecessary comfort. Toothpaste was another thing John was on the line about taking with, but you managed to convince him that no one wanted to fight zombies while their teeth rotted out. It would be a lot less difficult to make food for them, as well.

Eventually everyone had taken everything they could think of needing. John had a stack on papers in his hand, loose-leaf and liable to flutter away at any given moment. At one point in the short journey back to the safe house, the majority of the pages almost did run away with the wind.

Once Aradia got her hands on the papers she escaped to one of the more solitary rooms, content with sticking to her work for the rest of the day. Jade and Karkat were taking inventory, their conversations filled with colorful language. Nepeta was sitting in Equius' lap, getting her hair brushed as they spoke about whatever it was morails spoke about. While John and Sollux went down to check up on Jake, you were left to your own devices. The rest of the house had been unexplored by you, and you were curious about what else this well protected building had in store. The first room you entered was empty, save for the full sized bed in the corner and the dresser tucked away in the shadows. There were no blankets or sheets accompanying the bed, and all the dresser had in it was a sweatshirt half eaten by moths. None the less, you collapsed on the mattress, welcoming the shudders that rippled through the springs as they adjusted to new weight. Hair-thin cracks weaving their way across the ceiling created their own artwork, geometric shapes formed and modern art produced. Quickly you fell asleep, and were plagued by the ever-present nightmares that roamed your mind.

It was thundering, large quakes knocking you off balance over and over again. Normally thunderstorms were welcomed by you, but tonight it seemed like they were taunting you. Bro always stayed up in storms like this, watching at rain raced down the glass panes of the apartment windows. Sometimes you would stay up with him, admiring the way lightning cast its white light on everything in flashes of energy. Bro taught you to attack without pattern, like the untraceable cracks in the night sky you had watched countess times. Now there was no Bro to sit up with you, there was no one to trace the lines of water that fell down the smooth surface. He was gone outside to find food a few days ago, and he hadn't come back. He just disappeared, gone without a trace. It was haunting you, the thoughts in the back of your mind whispering horrible things. 'He's dead', they cackled. 'The big bad Bro isn't ever coming back. He left the house because you were hungry, and now he's dead.' 'You should be the one out there, being used a toothpick by those rotting, mind-less monsters.' The worst thing was that you knew the whispers were right. You knew Bro was never going to come back, at least not human. Then, if he did come back as one of them, you would have to kill him.

So you stayed up all night every night, waiting tensely for him to knock on the door. There was a steady beating of flesh against the thick oak wood that separated you from the monsters, of course, but if Bro were to come back with his humanity the undead would have to go. Else wise, he would have to enter from the open windows. You looked out one such window, the open streets of Houston, Texas miniaturized by the height of your ten story building. Stumbling forms shambled across the pavement, low groans barely reaching your ears. Over the course of just two months the whole city had fallen, full of undead monster that hungered for the flesh of anything that moved. Occasionally you got the chance to watch a fight between two corpses, be it over a scrap of meat or that they bumped into each other. They would use their uncut nails to claw at each other, chunks of decaying flesh falling off as muscle and skin tore. Occasionally the winner would tear off their opponent’s head, the frail spine shattering under the force of a hit, and the few muscles left popping and ripping apart. Then everyone would go about the way they did before, stumbling and groaning along the streets until their bodies shut down from hunger and brain rot. You would be fine in your small apartment, up high and boarded up where no one could reach you, if it weren't for the hunger. Bro had never been one for stocking up on substantial food- after all, the supermarket was just down the street. Just a week after the infections began you two had run out of food. It was fine at first, just a little pain. Nothing either of you couldn't handle. Sooner or later, though, you both knew you would either die of hunger or have to venture out into the outside world. After that revelation you began getting ready. More rooftop strifes, exhaustion be damned. When you were ready to go out, strong enough to fight for your survival, bro told you to hunker down inside and wait it out. Of course, you told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. No way were you going to let him risk his life, while you were sitting at home safe and sound. That wasn't fair to either of you. He, of course, told you to stop being such a brat and that his decision was final. That was the first time he went out alone, leaving you locked in the bathroom- from the outside, of course- while he ran out to the supermarket and stole all the food he could hold. The whole time you were scratching at the door and screaming for Bro.

That was five weeks ago. His most recent trip to the store was more than a week ago, and he had promised that he would be back in just three days. You were certain he was dead- it was the only possibility. Divided between the stomachs of the monsters, or worst, he had become one of them. Imagine your surprise when the endless banging on the door paused, stumps of flesh abandoning the oak to approach something of more value. There was the rewarding sound of flesh being separated, and the hollow thump of disconnected flesh hitting the floor, before silence fell outside. You were hesitant to call out, but as silence stretched on your curiosity got the best of you.

“Hello? Is someone out there?” Your voice was weak to your ears, uncertain and unconfident, You weren't expecting a reply.

“Hey lil' bro. I know I was gone for a bit longer than expected, but do you really have to act like I fell off the face of the earth?”  

You flung the door open and stood in the doorway, taking in the form in front of you. His clothes were mere shreds of what he had gone out in, and deep scratches still bled freely all across his skin. Ushering him inside after a moment of awe-full staring, you rushed him into the bathroom to get patched up. Of course, you remembered to close and lock the door. What type of person would you be if you didn't make certain your protection was insured?

Once his shirt and pants were in a heap in the corner of the room, you had a chance to assess the damage. Many of his scrapes would require stitches, which you could easily take care of. A small handful you could just clean, slap a bandage on, and call it a day. First thing, though, was to wash away all the grime and blood around the injury. Despite his complaints and harsh intakes of breath, the cleaning went by quickly. It was less of a daunting task when his skin wasn't covered in days old blood and dirt, that's for certain. Picking all the grains of dirt out of his gashes was more difficult, but you managed to persevere. When everything was pristine and his wounds were treated his neosporin and antibiotics,  you found the needle and surgical thread. Bro flinched away from the needle, but got accustomed to the sharp prick of metal piercing skin around the third stitch. Tying off the thread every time was painstaking, and your fingers began to twitch before you were done with the third cut. Bro stopped you when you were done with that cut, telling you to rest. You, of course, responded that you had rested enough in the week he was gone. After all, you had been cramped up in the apartment all that time. Your only entertainment was your imagination and your seemingly endless supply of paper, pencils, and paint. What you really wanted was food, but his bags proved to be near empty. When you asked where the bounty of his exploration was, he explained that he had been attacked by some of the few uninfected people left in this city, and everything but the clothes on his back and his life had been stolen. It sucked, but that was all stuff you could get back. He did have a granola bar for you, which you thankfully feasted upon. His wounds were eventually patched up, and you both agreed that another trip to the outside would be required after a nap.

Of course, a nap wasn't to be had. There was a loud banging on the door at that moment, and you left Bro to investigate. You breached the wall separating the entrance room from the kitchen just in time to see the door kicked in by something definitely in complete control of its body. A flood of humans entered your apartment, armed to the teeth with guns and knives. You of course made sure they didn't see you, flash-stepping to the bathroom to warn Bro. He got the message loud and clear when the people shouted a warning into the apartment.

“Shit shit shit. They must have trailed me back here. We've got to move now, Dave. Grab your sword and lets ditch.”

Bro was pulling himself up slowly, gritting his teeth and breathing heavily. You flash-stepped to your room and grabbed the broadsword off the rack you kept it on, pristine and unscratched. The sheath laid on your bed from when you were moisturizing it, softening the leather. You were carefully lifting the heavy blade off the rack when someone barged into your room, wielding a gun. Without hesitation you sliced a straight line from the bottom of his sternum to his jugular. Your movement was fluid and he never had a chance to say a word, simply dropping to the ground with a solid thump. You paused for a fraction of a second, eyes locked on the thick red liquid on the tip of your blade, then turned, grabbed your sheath and a backpack previously filled with necessary goods, and flashed back to the bathroom and Bro.

You stood in the doorway, watching a man take aim at Bro's head. Bro's eyes were wide and scared behind his shades, and it broke your heart to see your fearless brother afraid of something. You lunged forward and drove your broadsword through his ribcage, the thick metal sliding agilely between two ribs and slicing through his heart. You were fully supporting the dead man's weight on your blade, and your arm quaked with the feat. With the heel of your running shoes your slid the corpse off your weapon, his meat suit collapsing on the floor. Bro looked up at you, the same fear in his face. Behind your aviators you set your face and offered him your arm, clasping his forearm and helping him up off the ground.

You waited patiently in the bathroom while Bro flashed to his katanas and back. When he was prepared, you ducked out the window onto the fire escape. Two floors below you a man waited for you, armed with a shotgun. You reached into your bag, pulling out a dagger and offering it to Bro. He shook his head violently and you shrugged, testing the weight of the weapon in your palm before swinging yourself out on the ladder, angling yourself properly and taking aim. You threw the knife, watching it spin through the air and embed itself in the guards back. He didn't die instantly, instead crying out and falling backwards off the fire escape. The hollow crack of a body slapping the pavement eight stories below rang in your ears as you spun back inside the railing and grabbed Bro, pulling him down the metal stairs. Your brother was staring at you, shocked and afraid, but you couldn't pause to have the talk about killing people. This was a kill or be killed experience, and like hell you wanted to die.


	7. Dave's Past Is Kinda Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave sets out for his apartment, and John demands to know his past. 
> 
> I am SO SORRY it's been so long. I kinda forgot about this for a while there... But I'm back? Hopefully?

John stood above you, concern written on his face. You blinked, vision blurred momentarily by your darkened sunglasses. You felt your heart thumping in your chest like the infected against your apartment door.

He said nothing, just stood there with his hand on your shoulder for a minute until your breath was controlled to a degree and you swung your feet over the edge of the bed.

“Why’d you wake me  up?” You fought to keep your voice steady, leaching any emotion left over from your traumatic memories out of your speech.

John fixed you with a unamused look and glanced at the window, boarded up but enough space in between the wood to provide a view of the outside. The sun had set more than half an hour ago. There was no light in the sky, not even from the moon and stars.

“Shit, sorry,” You hopped to your feet and straightened out your shirt and shades, turning back to John when you realized he hadn’t moved. “What’s wrong? Are we going to my apartment or what?”

“Dave… What were you dreaming of?”

You froze for a second, in the middle of sheathing your sword. “What… What makes you think I was dreaming?”

John sighed heavily, crossing his arms. “You were… mumbling in your sleep. Something about your brother.”

Your gaze dropped to the ground and you brushed some of your platinum locks out of your eyes. “We can talk about it on the way, alright? If we don’t leave now we won’t be able to make it back before sun up.”

That finally convinced John to move, though he was hesitant. Once we left the building, locking the door behind us, he stopped again. “Start explaining.”

“Would you please walk?” Ushering him along, you began to talk.

“When the world went to shit, Bro and I holed up in our apartment. But we didn’t have enough food, so he had to make food runs to the supermarket a block away. Except, one time he didn’t come back. I thought for sure he was dead- it had been a week, no one survives out there for a week alone. Then he showed up like no time had passed, all cut up and his bag as empty as it had been when he had left. Some raiders had caught him, taken everything but the clothes he wore, and followed him back to me. I got him patched up, but only barely, before they kicked in the door.

“I killed my first man that night, with no hesitation. I didn’t even think about it, just cut him and he died. I didn’t feel anything. Then I stabbed a guy right through the heart when he was about to shoot Bro. He was scared, of me. I could see it in his eyes. He was terrified of me, of what I had done. No moral confliction, I just killed him.

“We had to run right away. We got away, barely, and hid out in a boarded up shop for the night. I guess the raiders only wanted Bro dead, and when they couldn’t get that they left without taking anything, but he didn’t want to go back there just yet. So we didn’t, just roamed day and night, eating what we could and killing. Bro, sometimes he wouldn’t kill. If we came across an infected child, he had a hard time sticking them. Me, I’d cut the head off anyone that came near me. Eventually Bro wouldn’t even come near me, he just stuck close when a herd came at us for protection. Else wise, he would be way out of my reach. So I wouldn’t turn and kill him if I thought he was bit, I guess. He was so fucking scared of me.” You turned to look at John, expecting the same expression of barely-concealed fear a few yards away. Instead, he was walking right next to you. He smiled weakly when you looked at him.

“Dave, you did what you had to. No one blames you for spacing your conscience from your body, especially when you had to wander with only your brother. There’s no space for sympathy for the bitten, even children. I’ve had to kill infants before. There’s nothing you can do for them.”

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before continuing. “Anyway, we both knew this life wasn’t for us. We started back for our apartment.  ****

Bro… He knew staying with me was his only chance at survival, and we stuck together like glue, but he began to see what I was turning into. I actually prefered moving during the day, when I could kill more zombies when they came at us. I was so totally destructive. He tried to tell me what I was doing and stop me but I couldn’t. All my life I was the polite little boy no one really paid any attention to, right? I had no friends, no one wanted to commit social suicide and hang out with me, the boy with no parents, the boy with the- who always wore sunglasses indoors, the boy who brought in fucking animal bones because he thought it was cool. Bro tried to convince me that I was cool, that my life was normal, but I knew working three jobs to support your kid brother wasn’t a life most people lived. I was a nobody, or worse. I was  the friend-less nerd kid. The perfect target for bullies. Bro taught me how to wield a sword, hoping that might help, but they just laughed when I tried to stab them with a stick. He was a good brother, but god was he a clueless guardian.

“Anyway. Now, in this apocalypse, it was my chance to prove that I wasn’t just some straight-A loser. I killed things that had once been people without any moral contemplation. I was someone else entirely, and I loved the feeling. I was so powerful… Nothing could hurt me.”

You stopped talking, picking your way across the barren streets of downtown Houston. You’d been walking for almost half an hour, talking in short burst before long stretches of silence.

“Until something did. Hurt me, I mean. Not physically, I didn’t get stabbed or anything, but…” You took a deep breath, collecting yourself and perfecting your poker face before you finally spoke about what had happened. “We were maybe half a day away from the apartment when a herd came at us, and it had been so long since I saw another uninfected human. I felt like I was one of them sometimes, like maybe this was the actual apocalypse. The people who don’t have the virus become walking, functioning monsters like those raiders who wanted to kill us. Them I saw someone, a little girl I had once tutored in math. She was cowering against a building. Not yet bitten, but about to be. And I just watched. I couldn’t do anything- no, I wouldn’t. I don’t know why, but I stood back as they ate her. I watched a girl get torn apart, screaming and crying and I knew, she had seen us, she was screaming at me to come help. She knew who I was and she kept screaming my name… Then Bro looked at me like those kids at school used to look at me, like I was some fucked up freak of nature. He couldn’t stand being related to a murder, and that’s what I was now.”

John was staring at you now, barely casting a glance at the churned up street before you. “He ran and I chased him, it was all my fault. He didn’t watch where he was going, and we ran into a herd. Bigger than anything I’d seen before, like half the people left in Houston converged in one tiny place. He was swamped. I dove in there, hacking at them and killing a fuckton but there were so many, and Bro was so torn up, I barely dragged him out of there. We boarded up in the same shop we had used to escape the raiders. It was still abandoned, though someone had stayed here recently. There was so much blood… So fucking much, John, I couldn’t look at him. ‘Kill me,’ he begged. ‘I don’t want to be like them.’ My own brother asked me to kill him, how fucked up is that? When he knew I wouldn’t do it he tried to kill himself, but I wouldn’t let him have a sword. I knew what he was going to do and I wouldn’t let him. He was going to bleed out on this shitty cement and I would be alone, without the only person who was actually nice to me ever, even if he did distance himself from me after I started… becoming one of them, basically.

“But he didn’t. He didn’t bleed out, he stopped bleeding and I knew that the virus had taken hold in him and he had no chance at survival. You know, sometimes if it’s only barely a bite you won’t get infected, the virus gets cleaned out with the blood, but it was too late to flush it out. This, though, there was no way he was getting out of this alive. I took him up to apartment after dark, so he’d be somewhere he at least liked when he died. I did everything I could, I brought him every kind of food and all the medicine I could find in the pharmacy but he just wanted to sleep. On the third night, I woke up to him standing over me and I knew he wasn’t my Bro anymore. And for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t kill. I just… couldn’t do it, and he was just about to chow down on some quality human flesh when he stopped. Have you ever seen one of them do that, just stopped and stand there, watching you? It was like he knew who I was, some part of his left alive in the back of his brain was screaming ‘no, don’t hurt him, he’s your brother,’ and I got out of that room as fast as I could. Locked him up as best I could, hoping maybe that part of him would grow stronger and I’d have at least part of my brother back.

“He only got worse. All day and late into the night he pounded on the door and I couldn’t do anything but listen to him. Sometimes he’d say my name and I thought he was back but he was just saying stupid, pointless things like they always do. I knew I’d have to kill him and eventually, I did. Held him down and stabbed him through the heart with his own katana, just like he always told me he wanted and I kept stabbing him. He wouldn’t die. I had to… Had to cut of his head before his corpse would stop jerking around on the blade, trying to bite me. And I got out of there as fast as I could, never looked back until I reached that neighborhood. There was a nice girl there for some time, but she was attacked and I couldn’t do anything but watch. It had been so long since I picked up my sword. I was terrified I’d turn into what I was before, some lifeless killing machine, only this time with no brother to bring some sense of humanity back to me.

“I was going out on a run when the herd showed up like they did, almost every week, and they cornered me in that tree house and met you. It’s crazy how some things work out, isn’t it?” You looked up from the road, checking the street signs to make sure you were on track. You were closer than you expected to be, given that you’d only been walking for an hour. It felt nice to get all of this off your chest, but at the same time… It made you want to feed yourself to the monsters. How was he going to react? Was he going to call you crazy, murderer, monster, like she did?

“How much farther?” Was the first thing John said. You glanced over at him, gauging his sullen face.

“Fifteen minutes, tops.” He nodded and let you lead the way.

 


	8. Dave is About To Lose His Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave reach the apartment, but can Dave handle seeing Bro's corpse? Also featuring- a little bit more about John's past.

“I told you my dad and sister were killed by my hand, right? They were bitten and when they turned, there was no one else to do the job. That was about six months ago now? Damn, it feels like a lifetime. It was my fault they died, though. I mean yeah, I was the one to pull the trigger, but they got bit because of me, too. I used to hang out with Vriska all the time- we were friends, even before all of this. We were outside of the town limits, just messing around in the woods, and we found a small herd. Or rather, they found us. My dad and sister were nearby and they heard our screams, came running. Saved me from being bitten, but went down himself. Jane, she rushed to him and tried to help, she really did, but there was nothing she could do. He’d been bit right in the shoulder, there was no way an amputation would’ve saved him. But she was too upset to realize there was more going on. I just stood there like a total idiot and Vriska ended up being the one to jump in, pulling them out before they gotten eaten but too late to keep the virus out of them. It was… A rough three days. My dad wouldn’t stop telling me he was proud of everything I’d become, and everything I would be, but all I could hear was ‘you did this. It’s your fault I’m going to die.’ Jane tried to be as cheerful as she had always been, but when she thought I wasn’t looking she cried. No one wants to die, you know? Not even at a time like this…”

You shot a sympathetic look at him when you came to your apartment building, drawing your sword. Just because the infected went to bed when the moon came up didn’t mean the seemingly abandoned city was safe. As you had learned with Bro, humans were some of the worst monsters now.

John fell silent, following you as you climbed eight flights of fire-escape stairs, trying to make as little noise as you could as you climbed the rusted metal. The window you had climbed out that night, seven months ago, was still open. You hadn’t done much but cared for Bro and cried while you were here most recently.

It stank of decay and sickness, a rich and dangerously sweet cloud of air smothering you the moment you stepped in. John held his nose, close to gagging, but it was something you had  grown accustomed to long ago. You came in through your own bedroom window, quickly finding a large dufflebag tucked away under your bed and ripping open your closet, piling in all the thick denim you had, along with your spare weapons- three swords, some shurikens, and a toiletries bag full of kunai. John stood there, hands clasped behind him as he looked around.

“Dude, I’m not a nun or anything. You’re welcome to look around. Take anything the group might need. It ain’t gonna be used otherwise.”

He gave you a measured look and you shrugged, going back to rummaging through your closet. You found, at last, what you were looking for- shades your brother had given you, back before you could remember. They were two isosceles triangles, acute-est angle-to-angle. There was a hair's-width crack in the left lense, from when you interacted with someone other than your brother for the first time and they saw your eyes. You folded them up and slipped them in a hard-shell case before packing them away. John was taking the sheets off your bed, and you watched with a sort of reserved sadness as they were bundled up and shoved into another bag he had found. Your Bro had picked those out for you when you were twelve, as a gift for when you brought home your first real friend. He had given you red everything, as it was the color you disliked the least.

Some other things- a bulky pair of sound-proof headphones, a small photo trifold of you and Bro- were carefully packed away, along with clean clothes. John watched as you stepped up to the door, resting your hand on the knob and you tried to hold in everything that you knew you were about to face.

Alas, you had to go out there some time. You pushed open the thin wood, taking in a final deep breath of the somewhat less-diseased air before you meet the atmosphere that had grown around Bro’s body. John coughed and you were hit in the face with a wave of spores and you realized, a bit belatedly, that you should have been wearing face masks, but you couldn’t move. He was right in front of you, lying on the ground with his shirt torn to shreds and drenched in stale blood. The katana you used to behead him lay at his side, dirty with what had once been a part of Bro. You slowly became aware of John pulling at your shoulder, his own shirt tucked over his mouth. He pulled on yours, trying to cover your mouth for you. You faded from you stupor and pulled away from John, brushing off his outraged shouting.

“They’ve never hurt me,” You mumbled.

“What?”

“The spores. They’ve never hurt me. Before I realized what they were I went down to the parking garage and, well, if they infected me I wouldn’t be here right now.”

John stared at you for a minute, breathing slowly behind his shirt. “That’s insane. I’ve lost people to them alone, there’s no way you’re just… immune to them, or whatever. Right?”

“I’m not immune to the disease, that’s for sure. Bro had my blood in him, and he still turned.”

“I know he was your brother and all, but maybe, I don’t know, you had different mothers or fathers? Or something happened that affected only you?”

“No, he actually had my blood in his veins. He needed an emergency transfusion and I was the only one there. It was a blessing we were the same blood type. It was only, like, a month before the virus started spreading.”

“Well, maybe your blood is-”

“John, stop,” you sighed. “If I was immune, Bro would still be alive. If I had been a lot of things, he might still be here. But I’m not, so he isn’t. Lets get some of this stuff and get the hell out of dodge.”

You went first to his bedroom. It was clean, unlike your tornado-aftermath of a living quarters. His bed had an orange comforter and a shitton of pillows, most in orange cases. You grabbed the smallest, taking a whiff of the cologne he wore, like cedar wood chips and bonfires, before shoving it in your bag. His hat collection sat in the far corner, the only part of his room even slightly out of order. His favorite had been the grey one kept in the best condition, seated on top of the stack like a king on a throne made of lesser men. He never wore it out on runs- he was terrified it would get dirty or torn. Now that there was no Bro here to chaste you for even touching it, you grabbed it and crammed it over your hair. The neon orange cap you had given him for his 26th birthday was worn from use, hanging on a hook near his bed. You shoved that one into your bag.

In the living room you skirted around his corpse and made your way to the T.V. table. The wide flat screen was bashed in, aftermath of the raiders, but they hadn’t messed up the collection of CDs, movies, and VHSs. You quickly found your cache of home videos you and Bro made, years ago when you both had more time. Ten tapes of stupid shenanigans- anything you could get away with in the apartment, really. They were placed, more like jammed really, into your dufflebag. It was getting awfully heavy now, but there was no way you were leaving any of this behind.

In the kitchen sat the last thing you wanted. He was perched on top of the fridge, head tilted ominously to the side as he smiled, his blue glass eyes staring straight into your aviators. It was very unnerving, having a staring contest with someone who can’t blink. You quickly grabbed him, perching him safely on your shoulder. There was no way he would fall- he was Cal, after all.

John didn’t expect to see a puppet on your shoulder when you exited the kitchen. He stumbled back a few steps, grabbing the futon or support. “John, this is Cal. Cal, John.” You introduced them carefully, fully prepared to grab Cal if he tried to jump on John. He used to do that a lot to you. He didn’t so much as blink, which confused you. Then you realized something. Had Cal had died with Bro?

In a blur he dashed to Bro’s side, almost sitting in a puddle of blood. “Oh Cal, you didn’t know?” You went to his side, kneeling next to the puppet.

“Dave, why are you talking to a doll? And how did the doll just appear over there? I’m so confused right now.”

You looked up at John, grinning a little. “Cal isn’t a doll. He… Uh… It’s a bit hard to explain but, he can kind of manipulate time and space a little? Bro taught me how to as well, but I was never as good as him. It’s something we call flashstepping. I don’t know exactly what Cal is and I don’t think Bro did either, but he can flashstep just as well as me. He’s grieving right now though, so I think we should give him some space.”

John just nodded dumbly, so you led him to your bedroom and closed the door. There was a little crease between his eyebrows, right above the bridge of his glasses. You flopped down on your bed, sans blankets, and watched as he tried to comprehend flashstepping.

“So you guys can just, jump through time and space?”

“Well, Cal and Bro only really jump through space. I can kind of go through time, but only a few seconds. The max I’ve gone is two minutes into the past, and Bro got really pissed. Something about time paradoxes and alternate timelines? He throws- threw- fits about everything I did. Big mother hen of a brother…” You sighed, closing your eyes and trying to relax. John examined your strung-up photos, and you opened your eyes to him trying to laugh silently.

“What?” Belatedly, you realized you had selfies up there. Lots of selfies. Taken with a film camera, that you put time into developing in your blackroom. Yeah, that was worthy of a few chuckles. You stood next to him, trying to find your better pictures. Most were of you in front of a full-body mirror, leaning against the doorframe. There was a shoebox full of other photos, which you pulled out and dug through. Honestly, you don’t understand why Bro let you do this stuff. Every now and then there was a real good shot of something like people, of the Houston horizon, or dead things, but most of what you had was lame wannabe-hipster pictures.

Your favorites, though, were candid shots of Bro. Some were of him mixing, shades pushed up on his forehead along with his red-blond hair, eyes closed and a faint smile on his lips. Others, him polishing his katanas as he rapped to himself. His lips blurred as he mouthed words faster than you could think, eyes piercing orange, everything else monotonous grey. Another of him asleep. You used to crawl into bed with him when you had nightmares about dad, so he got used to your presence as he slept, and Cal didn’t mind you. He was sprawled out on his bed, sheets still made up underneath him, his hair limp without the gel he used to style it against gravity everyday, shades on the bedside table, dressed in orange striped sleep pants and a white wifebeater.

One photo in particular that you loved featured you. It was on a school field trip when you were around twelve years old. Bro usually acted guarded and emotionless in public, but when you were there his facade slipped a little. You were at a museum admiring a bird skeleton with him. Your teacher, who had taken your camera since it was the best available to take photos for the yearbook, snapped a picture of you grinning, fingers lightly tracing the wing bones, as Bro watched with a smile on his face. He looked old in the shot, like a father almost, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that Bro cared enough about you to smile in public.

You found a manila envelope to slip them , along with a few others that you couldn’t part with, into and tucked it away. John had been staring at one picture for a few minutes now, so you went over to see what it was. When you saw, your gulp was audible.

You rarely took photos of your face. Your shades always reflected the camera, after all, and that wasn’t cool. Still, you snapped a few of yourself. The one John held was when you had gotten fed up with the reflection and you’d taken off your shades, baring the minor headache that would become a migraine to take two photos. When you developed them, one came out over-saturated. The other, your eyes were wide open like a deer in headlights.

Wide, and red as blood.

 


	9. John Is Actually Good at Comforting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Johns discovery, a bit of an argument back at the base, and certain buck-toothed nerds dream.

“Dave?” I looked over at the blond, whose normally milky skin had gone white as ice. I reached out to him, trying to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, but he flinched and took a quick step back. I raised my palms and watched as he took in a deep, shuddering breath.  
“I uh… I’m going to go check on Cal.” He ran out of the room, his bag still on the bed. I picked it up, hefting it over my shoulder and following him. He was kneeling beside his brothers corpse, shades off his face and eyes scrunched shut. A bead of liquid sat indecisive on the tips of his white-blond eyelashes before diving down, into the outstretched hand of the long-dead body.  
“Dave…” He jerked his head up, eyes going wide before he winced and turned away from me, but I had seen. Red irises like blood in a kaleidoscope, shards of orange and wine. They were bloodshot, but if anything the faint red veins contrasting with the darker, more certain color made his eyes prettier.  
“Don’t.” His voice cracked and he winced, light blond brows furrowing over closed eyes. “I know I’m a freak. Just… Please don’t say it.”  
Seeing him there, hunched over himself like he expected me to hit him, no poker face or aviators to offer a shield from the world, broke something inside me. I knelt beside him, holding my breath as I was so close to the body, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He was quaking, sobs barely contained in his chest, and when I held him he gave up on holding back. Burning hot tears fell like rain on my back and the sounds coming from his throat were choked, and he eventually managed to hug me back.  
We sat there for maybe half an hour before Dave sat back, wiping his cheeks and reaching for his shades. I stopped him, grabbing his wrist. Slowly, his eyes raised to my face, and I basked in their beauty for one final moment before letting him go. He was quick to jam them back on his face, smoothing back his hair and taking a deep breath.  
“So, uh, we’re agreeing to not mention that back at camp, right?” He nodded. “But… That doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it now.”  
He stiffened. “What’s there to talk about? ‘S pretty normal to cry about a dead brother, right?”  
“More like, it’s not normal to cower like that.” Obviously my word choice wasn’t what he expected, because he looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t care about the color of your eyes. Okay, maybe I do, but not in a bad way? They’re really pretty, is what I mean.” I felt myself begin to blush. “But do you really think I would hurt you? Dave, I know we just met but you have to know that I would never do that to anyone, no matter what.”  
He bit his lip, a light blush covering his cheekbones as well. “I don’t doubt that you’re a good guy, John, but… I’ve had friends who turned on me in a heartbeat because of these.” He gestured to his face. “How was I to know you’re different?” His smile was weak but sincere, and I dropped the subject.  
“Alright, we should start moving soon, if we’re to get back before the sun rises.” Dave nodded, covering a bit of a yawn as he looked around. Bro’s glasses were still on his head, splattered lightly with blood, but crack-free. He was careful when he plucked them off and wiped them down with his shirt.  
“Those are just like the ones you used to have,” I noted. I had seen a photo of Dave when he was still young, preschool or kindergarten age possibly, with sunglasses shaped like the ones Bro wore.  
“Yeah.” Dave smiled fondly. “Bro made my pair to match his own when he figured out I had a sensitivity problem too. He would have made me another pair like ‘em if I’d asked, but the aviators were there, and I needed something. They just ended up being permanent.”  
He also picked up the sword by Bro’s side, grabbing a cleaning cloth and wiping off as much of the crusted blood as he could before sheathing it and belting it to his waist. His longsword was slung across his back in a full black sheath, but the katana had a checkered black-and-white pattern to match the grip. Cal flashed into the duffle and I picked that up for Dave. He nodded at me and went for the door before he paused.  
A leather jacket was hung on the back of the door. Genuine leather, with pads on the elbows. “My bike…” he muttered before grabbing the jacket, shrugging of his sword sheath to put it on. The jacket fit like a second skin, and Dave moved just as fluidly in it. He grinned at me, popping the collar, and I couldn’t help but snort. “Let’s go see if we can find my baby.”  
A flashy red motorcycle turned out to be his ‘baby.’ The seat was black leather. The handle grips were worn. The paint job was expensive. Dave loved it.  
He straddled her quickly, sitting back and holding the grips like it had been only yesterday he was speeding on back-country roads, the wind carding through his hair, or racing the few people he had managed to befriend downtown, dark red helmet keeping the fierce wind from stabbing his eyes. Said helmet was tucked away underneath the seat, along with a spare which he handed to me.  
“You- you can’t mean to ride this thing?” I knew he wanted to, but I could only think about the attention it would draw.  
“Hell yeah I can! Dude she handles like the beauty she is. Trust me when I say it is the best experience, ever.”  
“Says the obvious virgin,” I mumbled under my breath. He still heard, and slammed the helmet into my gut.  
“Put it on. We’re going for a ride.”  
I have to admit, Dave is a good motorcycle driver, and it cut our time by lot despite the detours he took. Sollux was on guard duty when we arrived back at our camp, though he looked to be close to drifting off until he heard Dave revving the engine. When we pulled up and I slid off, my legs quivering like a newborn foals, Sollux tried to whistle. He only succeeded in spitting everywhere.  
“Nice ride, Strider.” He eyed the motorcycle like he wanted to covet it. Dave rested a protective hand on the shiny side.  
“Don’t even think about it, you lisping fuck.” Sollux stuck his tongue out at him and Dave just laughed good-naturedly.  
“John, Karkles was looking for you. Something about future plans? I tried to tell him that the future only holds death but he wasn’t having it. He almost sounded…” He leaned in. “Serious.”  
I chuckled, finally gaining enough control over my leg muscles to walk without looking like a total idiot. I handed Dave his helmet, which he tucked away, and his duffle. His smile gradually faded and he nodded, taking the bag. “Do you know where he is?”  
Sollux gestured to the building behind him, already starting a conversation with Dave about his bike. I left them alone, too clueless to add any worthwhile insight, and knocked on the door.  
Karkat threw it open, bushy black eyebrows drawn close over his eyes and his lips locked in an angry frown. “Where the hell were you?” he snarled. “I wake up and you’re gone, with that weird kid. What the fuck is up with not telling anyone where the bulge-slobbering fuck you’re going? How do you know this Dave can be trusted, huh? You can’t just go off alone with the whimpering kid we found two days ago. Jegus, it’s like you reverted back to your wriggling days.”  
His shouting surely woke some of the others sleeping in the house up, but to save the rest of them from Karkat’s raspy rant you slapped your hand over his mouth. He wouldn’t bite you- he tried once and you have him a big lump on his head- so he was powerless to your counter-attack.  
“Hey Karkles, did you know you’re being a huge tightass right now? Yeah? Here’s an update, if you’ve been spacing out for the last half a year- I know how to take care of myself. One kid isn’t going to get the upper hand on me, even with his swords. Furthermore, I don’t have to tell you everything I’m doing. Just because you didn’t know I was going out tonight doesn’t mean no one else knew. Jade, for instance- you know, the one you fucked once and then ignored for a month? She knew that I was going to Dave’s apartment to get some of his things. I fact, I think I announced to the whole group that we were going to stop by his place. You just think that because of who I was before this whole thing, you can treat me like a child, but I’m an adult now. More than that, I can kill what I need to kill, and I can beat anyone in this group with a hand tied behind my back. Don’t try to talk down to me, Karkat, or you’ll be holding up the rear. Permanently.” I kept my head high and scowled down at him before turning sharply on my heel and walking as calmly as I could with the fiery pulse of anger just underneath my skin.  
I climbed the stairs, longing for the escape only clean air and open sky could give me. Jade had slept up there, though she no longer rested. She was sitting up in her sleeping bag, hair a wild tangled mess, rubbing the crust out of her eyes.  
“John, I’m glad to see you’re back. What was going on with Karkat? What was he yelling about?”  
I waved away the question, sitting on the rough cement ceiling beside here. “I hate how… territorial he is. Like, ‘no John you’re my friend, no one else can have you.’ Seriously, I’m a social person. I want more than one or two friends. I mean, you all are nice, but… Dave’s new. Dave’s a mystery. Dave’s cool. You and Karkat and everyone in this group are almost too familiar.”  
“So you like Dave?”  
“Well, I mean, he’s a good guy, and he actually really nice if you see beyond the douche baggy glasses and his lack of expression.”  
“No I mean, you like Dave.” She giggled, grinning at me.  
“What? No! No no no, I don’t like Dave like that. He’s my friend, Jade! Even if he is kind of cute. And he’s got the prettiest eyes… I bet his lips are really soft… But no, I don’t have a crush on Dave! Oh my god Jade, what if I have a crush on him?”  
She snorted as I stared at her, terrified by the conclusion I had come to. “Jade, this isn’t a joke! Not a drill, I repeat not a drill, code red big fat homo crush incoming! I’m not set up to deal with this right now.”  
“Okay, John, calm down. You just now figured this out, take some time to accept the information. Take as long as you need to feel out this ‘big fat homo crush,’ you don’t need to do anything about it right now. Maybe in a month or two, if you still want to slobber on his pale, expressionless face, you can talk to him about it. But maybe you won’t! Who knows?” She shrugged, covering a yawn and rubbing her face.  
“How can you act so calm? I’m have an existential crisis here! I haven’t had a crush since, like, Vriska!”  
“John. John, shut up. I’m tired and going back to bed. You should sleep too- you’ve been walking around all day and night. C’mon, you can snuggle with your boyfriend and everything. “  
I felt myself blushing and punched her shoulder, which only made her grin and hit me harder. She flopped back and cuddled up with her pillow, light snores slipping from her lips not a minute after her head touched the pillow.  
I shook my head at her but felt weariness in my bones all the same. Jade had laid out one of the bigger sleeping bags not too far from her own, and I quickly claimed it. It was quick to warm up, thanks to the fleece inside, and I spread eagle and slept.  
I dreamed. I was in a tall golden tower, my room bare and shining like it was dusted and swept every day. There was one window, and when I looked out it I could see a grand golden city below me and a bright blue sky above. Wispy clouds floated above me. One rippled with a plethora of colors before settling on deep purple, and I could see a room like my own, though purple and dirty. A thick layer of dust coated everything, even the person occupying the large bed. I squinted, trying to get a better look, but their face was shrouded. I gave up and look at the other clouds. They showed images too, though some were impossible to make any sense of. Three trolls with tall horns, wearing clown paint on their faces and purple clothes. The smallest ate a green pie that quivered like jell-o. The largest carried a club bigger than all of me, and had a mane darker than the void. The troll in between them was different- he wore clothes that looked like a skeleton, and had his lips stitched shut. His eyes glowed and flashed, green and purple and yellow and it was hypnotic, it was pulling me in… I would do anything those eyes told me to, they were so enrapturing…  
Something slammed into me from outside the window, pitching me back into your room. I had been standing on the ledge. I blinked, starring up at the figure who had saved me. It looked almost like…  
“Jade?”  
“You’re awake! The prince is awake! Oh John, I’m so glad to see you’re finally up!”  
“Awake? But, Jade, I’m dreaming. You are aware of that, right? I mean… Apocalypse. Zombies. The whole nine yards.”  
She sighed. “Yes, John, I know all about that. But, this is like... Not an alternate world. It’s a place we all go when we dream. Here or derse.”  
“Derse? The purple place?”  
“Yeah. How’d you know about it?”  
“I saw it, in the clouds.” I glanced up at the fluffy white shapes. “What’s up with those? Is it like a T.V. or something?”  
“What did you see, specifically?” She had lost her joyous tone and dropped onto the window ledge, slipping inside next to me. “I need to know exactly what Skia showed you, John.”  
I blinked, taking a step back. “I just saw… a room. A purple room. It was really dirty, like it hadn’t been clean in the past decade. There was someone sleeping in the bed there. Why?”  
“What did they look like?”  
“I couldn’t tell. Blond?”  
“John, I need you to remember! Boy or girl? Was it a human or a troll?”  
“I couldn’t really see, okay? Human from what I could tell, but it was like the clouds didn’t want me to see who it was.”  
She started to pace, mumbling to herself. “There are only four human dreamers on Derse, but they’re all alive. Why would Skia show John that on his first time here? And why is it being so mysterious?” She shook her head, turning back to me. “What else did you see, when I ran into you? What were you looking at?”  
“Trolls. There were three of them. Tall wavy horns, purple clothes, white face paint. One ate green pies, another had a giant club, and the last… He was the weirdest. His mouth was sew shut but his eyes were so colorful and hypnotic… and he had no pupils. Do you know who they were?”  
Jade was staring at me. At last she snapped out of it, but she didn’t answer my question. “Do you remember what they were doing?”  
“I… I think the biggest one was talking to someone, but I couldn’t tell. He called her ‘Imperial Condesce’ or something. They were talking about the next step in their plan. He was saying the next strain isn’t ready but she was telling him they didn’t have time… Jade, were they talking about the infection?”  
She didn’t say anything, just stared at the floor. “Jade! Were those the people who started this?”  
Slowly she nodded, an empty expression pasted on her usually friendly face. “John… I have to go. We both have to wake up soon, okay? Just watch the clouds for now, and don’t talk about Skia out there. You know, when we wake up. Some people aren’t awake here yet, and they have to come in their own time. You can talk to me about it, but no one else, okay?”  
I nodded, already feeling disconnected from this world. Someone was nudging me, back in the real world, I could feel it. “Wait, Jade-”  
It was too late. I blinked, and woke up in my sleeping bag. Dave was beside me, already awake. His glasses were off- I had already see his eyes, so there was nothing left for him to hide from me there.  
“Ah, the sleeping beauty is awake at last. You and Jade are the only people left sleeping here. Were you having a nice dream?” he asked in a sarcastically sweet voice, and I couldn’t help but marvel at his face. Now that I had admitted to myself my infatuation, there was nothing hold me back.  
He had freckles, lots of them, though they were only a few tones darker than his skin. The bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheekbones had the highest population- there was barely any pale skin in those patches. His petit nose had a freckle right on the tip, one slightly darker than the rest. Were he mine, I would kiss it every chance I got.  
My eyes drifted down to his lips, his pink and moist lips. His tongue darted out, ran along the lower, and pulled it back to be worked between his teeth.  
“Um…” I wanted to say something, I knew I should, but all I could think about was how it would feel to brush his soft cheeks, or stare into his eyes, or press my lips to his fervently.  
“Okay, uh, you’re kind of being a bit creepy right now,” he said at last. I leaned back, distancing myself from him before I did something I would regret, and he slid his shades back over his eyes.  
“Sorry. Still tired, you know? We were out pretty late.” I stretched my arms over my head, faking a yawn that couldn’t possibly fool him.  
“Yeah, I suppose we were up for a while. We got back at what, three fifty-two? Wow, I didn’t realize it was that late… Time flies when you’re breaking down over your brother dead body and giving away one of your biggest secrets!”  
“How did you do that?” He tilted his head. “You just… knew exactly when we got back, but like you didn’t know before now.”  
He waved off my question as if he had heard it so many times before. “You know how I said I’m able to flashstep through time, unlike Bro? It’s because of this like, sixth sense I’ve got. I can tell you the time whenever, wherever, and I can tell you how long it’s been or how long it’ll be to an exact moment in time. It’s ten twenty seven right now. And forty seconds, and forty one, forty two. Yeah, you get the idea, right?”  
“Dude, that is so cool!” I glanced down at my watch, cross checking what he told me. He lined up perfectly, to the second. He ducked his head, blushing faintly. I heard Jade rustling in her sleeping bag as she began to wake up and Dave’s eyes went wide before he flailed around, trying to disentangle himself from the blankets we had shared before she saw. Alas, he was too late, and Jade snickered when she saw how tangled he had gotten. She sent me a knowing grin that I shrugged off, squirming out and helping Dave up before we all went down to search for food.  
Though we were the last ones out, it seemed that everyone else had gotten a late start as well. Sollux had a small fire in empty living room and was boiling some cheap coffee. Nepeta sat on the other side of the flames with part of a raw chicken, cutting slices with someone’s dagger to cook on a thin sheet of scrap metal. Karkat was cutting up some vegetables from one of the bigger safe zones, unevenly diced carrots and tomatoes and peppers. Equius was violently beating eggs, though it look like he was trying his hardest not to shatter the bowl or bend the fork. Aradia was nowhere to be seen, but I could assume she was still working on her maps. She put a lot of attention into the details.  
When Karkat saw me walking down with Dave, I could see the rage blossom and flood his mind. He slammed the large knife down, trying to make a show of his exit, but he cut the side of his finger.  
“Ah! Shit nookloving-“ Dave darted over to his side before I could stop him. I cringed, sure the blond would get gouged by Karkat’s long nails, but obviously Karkat wasn’t expecting his presence and just blinked at him.  
“Damn son, you got yourself good with that knife,” Dave scoffed. Karkat finally realized what was going on and snatched his hand back, growling. “Oh hush and let Doctor Dave check out your cut,” he snapped, holding out an expectant hand. Karkat looked around at us for an explanation, but we were all just as startled. I usually let the troll nurse his own wounds because of how stingy he got, like I would cull him because of the bright red color.  
Karkat gently lowered his hand into Dave’s outstretched one and Dave quickly pulled it closer to his face so he could see better the extent of the damage. “Hey, someone want to get me a needle and thread?”  
“Oh no, hell no Strider. You’re not going to stitch this up. Just slap a band-aid on it and quit your doctor fetishizing.”  
Dave scoffed, but the look he gave Karkat was anything but joking. “Dude, I don’t care how tough your little troll body is, you nicked a pretty nice artery and I don’t think you want to bleed out today, am I right?” Dave shoved the cut in Karkats face, showing off the damage.  
“Oh wow, that’s a hell of a lot deeper than I thought it was. Yeah, someone get this man his sewing kit. Stat!”  
Mine was the closest, so I tossed it to Dave and let him take care of Karkat. I could have done it just as easily, but I figured this was a good bonding experience.  
“Ow! You seed-flap fucker, could’ve given me a warning! Shit. Motherfucker!”  
“Oh hush, you whiny bitch-baby. It’s not like you’ve never gotten stitches before. Someone as clumsy as you must have an overabundance of scars.”  
They bickered at each other, exchanging creative, revolting insults in great detail. Karkat was in the middle of calling Dave something about a ‘seed-flap after explosive shit’ when Dave got up and walked over to the board on which the troll had been chopping food.  
“Wait human, where are you going? What about my hand?”  
Dave didn’t even glance over his shoulder. “’S all done. Do yourself a favor and don’t pick at them, a’ight?” Karkat looked back at the rest of us, thoroughly confused. Join the club, I wanted to say.

“Dude you suck at chopping food. You’re worse than my ma, and she was drunk 24/7. Like, get your shit together. It’s all over the place, getting in my way when I’m trying to cook some half decent food. I keep tellin’ em to butt the fuck out but they won’t. They need your help, they’re lost everywhere. C’mon man, you gotta save your shits before they’re gone forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say, I am SO SORRY I suck at updating. Inspiration is iffy for me, most of the time. I would like to give a big thank you to the people who leave kudos and comments, you all are the main reason I'm still trying to write this (even though I told myself I would see it through). I'll try to get better at updating, I promise.


	10. Reality of the Apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave still knows how to kill, and John knows that none of this is his fault. It still hurts.

Dave was happy to make omelets for all of us, and they were better than anything we had ever made on the road. Sollux, who had apparently made friends with Dave last night, actually bowed to him, calling him ‘Lord Chef.’ Karkat wasn’t sure how to feel- he alternated between glaring at the blond and moaning around his fork.

Aradia pulled out a bundle of paper after we had stuffed ourselves as much as we could. She had finished the maps, and handed them out to everybody. Dave admired his, tracing the cleared roads and mouthing the names of all the safe zones to himself before carefully folding it up and putting it in his wallet, right next to a photo of his brother, I noticed. His wallet was black leather, and a bifold with tabs for cards and pictures. It was filled with miscellaneous stuff, most of it worthless to anyone but him. I wanted to ask about it, to pick out and hold and learn the history to every insignificant thing in there, but I suppressed the feeling. He’s only my friend, I chanted to myself. Nothing else was going to happen between us.

The map I got was much improved from the one I had, thankfully. My past map only had parts of the midwest and some of central america charted, whereas this included everything we had seen from the east to the west, as far south as Puerto Rico and as far north as Quebec.

Jade and Karkat (the later glaring and grumbling more than anything) updated me on our stockade of supplies. We were set with blankets and sheets, and our medical supplies weren’t too low, but we could always use more food. And survival necessities- we were planning on making small packs for everyone to carry on their person at all times, in case of separation.

Today was going to be another foraging day, but the group would head out armed for lots of opposition, further from the reinforced house we had occupied. I was leading the mission, since it was one that included everyone but Sollux and Nepeta- they were staying to watch other Jake and our supplies. As I had told him last night, I assigned Karkat to the back of the group. He usually walked in the lead with me, so it was strange setting out and not hearing the troll’s shouting.

No more than three blocks away was a drugstore. If it hadn’t been hit by multiple nomadic groups like mine, we might get some things of subsistence. No such luck, though. All we could find, after five minutes, was a beaten up box of energy bars and tampons. At least Jade got a month’s supply. Dave had offered to watch the doors while we went inside, and as Jade was putting the two packages in her bag, he poked his torso through the gap between powerless automatic doors.

“We’ve got a small herd coming our way, just seven or eight of ‘em. Want me to take them out, or do we work as a team for that type of shit?”

Karkat sighed and hefted his sickles. “between two and ten is a three man job, Strider.” He spat out Dave’s name like a wad of chewing tobacco.

Grabbing my hammer, I joined them. The rest of the group hadn’t really moved, used to this enough to know that Karkat and I would be more than happy to kill some corpses. Dave, though, was an unknown element, and a few watched with vague interest as we walked out to face the herd.

It was closed to ten, shambling down the broken pavement in our general direction. Karkat let out a wordless cry to get their attention. Once they caught sight of us, they moved with more purpose. The ones at the head of the pack, catching our scent, let out groans and broke into stuttered runs. I heard Dave unsheath his sword and remembered something he had said the other night- he hadn’t killed since his brother, aside from that one in the treehouse. A pang of worry shot through me. Would he lock up in a fight, and become a liability?

My worry was for naught, I realized, when he darted forward ar near-inhuman speed to behead the first walking corpse to reach us. Karkat lunged for the next, tearing the head away from the body with a gruesome ripping noise. I swung at one of the slower ones, bashing in the top of its skull, while the other two continued to attack.

I watched as one of the last zombies lunged at Dave, myself being too far away to do anything. Karkat tried to move to help, but we all knew he wouldn’t get there in time. As it’s rotting teeth began to close around his leather-covered arm, he flashstepped a foot to the side. The clink of teeth closing around nothing rang in the air for a second before he ran it through with his sword. The dead body fell to the ground, and he noticed it was silent. Everyone had come out of the store to watch the fight and stood behind me. Like myself, they wore expressions of disbelief and shock.

“What?” No one responded to his question until Karkat let out a sigh of relief.

“Fuck, Strider, everyone thought you were dead. I don’t want to know about the shit you just pulled, but for the sake of everyone’s sanity don’t cut it that close again.”

I noticed how the troll forgot to vocalize his hate towards Dave and cracked a smile. The blond shrugged, wiping the flat of his blade against one of the corpses to clean off any blood and flesh before sheathing it. “I’ve had closer,” was all he responded with. The others directed incredulous looks at his back.

I didn’t really want to know how ‘close’ he had gotten to being bitten, and I suppose no one else wanted to either.

We continued on to the next store we could find, a gas station that had been boarded up. There was a bit more there than had been at the last shop, but not by much. It seemed like this part of town had been picked clean. We got a few bottles of Tylenol and miscellaneous half-empty boxes of food, but nothing substantial. We moved on to the next, and the outcome was similar.

It was past noon when we decided to head back to the house we were staying in. Sollux and Nepeta were sitting on the roof when we got there, feet kicking in the open air and voices carrying as there talked about the feline-esque troll’s notorious shipping wall.

“So, who do you ‘ship’ with John?” Sollux asked once he knew we were within earshot.

Nepeta hummed in thought. “Well, a while ago I shipped John and Karkat, even though that would be a pale relationship. Now, though, I’m pretty sure John and Dave are soulmates.” The lisping troll shot a look down at me and my cheeks heated up. Glancing at Dave beside me, I saw that he had heard too. Nepeta noticed us, and called down a greeting.

Our gatherings were deposited in a pile beside the things already inventoried, and I put Sollux on the job as punishment. Dave and I decided to go down and check up on Jake.

The boy in question was worse for wear. His face was covering in a sheen of sweat, but his skin was icy to the touch. Clumps of his hair were scattered on the ground where he was curled up, shivering under a woolen blanket.

It made me was to cry, honestly, seeing someone I considered a close friend dying like this. “Hey, Jake. How’re you holding up?”

The boy in question raised his head slowly, eyes lazily finding my form and lacking the intelligence I had associated with him. A low grunt was all I got in answer before he went back to laying on his side, back to us.

It became harder and harder for me to breath regularly. I turned to Dave, burying my face in in his jacket. Rough hands came up to scratch my scalp. I would never tell him, but his methods of comforting me worked better than anyone elses. Though, I was beginning to think that they wouldn’t work nearly as well if they were coming from someone other than the blond.

“I’ll come down to check on him later tonight, okay?” He said. I nodded and without glancing back at the infected boy behind me, Dave led us back to the ground floor. The rest of the group was settling down, most sitting in small clusters and talking. Jade glanced over at us, face dropping when she saw my condition.

“Hey, John. How’s he doing?” I couldn’t answer, leaving Dave to talk to her.

“Honestly? I think he’s gonna turn within twelve hours. His mind is already deteriorating, which is a really late symptom, and I saw some busted blisters. I’ll check up on him tonight, see if I can take care of him before tomorrow.”

She nodded, gritting her teeth and breathing out a deep sigh through her nose. Dave left me with her, saying he was going to make dinner for the group, to which he got a chorus of thanks.

He was an excellent cook, I’d give him that. Even with our limited supply of food, just about all of it canned or dehydrated, the meal was better than what we usually ate on the road. Everyone else was conversing over the tables we had pushed together so we could eat as a mismatched family. I stayed quiet, barely eating. All I could see was Jake, laying on the ground like an injured wild animal. He was losing his humanity, and according to Dave he was going to be lost altogether by tonight. He was gone forever. Our adventurer was dead. My gunslinging, joking friend who had always shared my love for good film was never going to sit beside me i the truck, singing to CDs on the top of our lungs. He was never going to ride in the bed of the truck with me, wind carding through our black hair, laughing and breathing in the fresh air.

I didn’t notice anything was happening around me until Jade took my dish, still nearly full of food, and Dave rested his hand on my shoulder.

“I know, it hurts.” Having him there with me was like holding a candle against the void- it didn’t do much, but it was more than I would have otherwise. He lead me up onto the roof and I saw that night had already fallen. More time than I expected had passed while I was trapped in my thoughts.

He helped me get ready for bed, curling up with me inside the sleeping bag and ignoring Jades chuckle when she saw us. Sleep didn’t come very easy to me, nor to Dave. As I was finally beginning to feel it weighing down my eyelids, I knew Dave was still stroking my hair and humming to himself quietly enough that even I could only feel the vibrations in his chest.

I woke up in the golden place again. Jade was sitting at the foot of my bed, watching the sky outside. When she saw me stirring, a dark cloud fell over her. “John, I need to take you somewhere.”

I nodded, noticing how serious she was. Leading me through the winding streets of prospit, she explained a little more about the place than she had the other night.

“Derse and Prospit are planets. They exist in a different universe than our Earth, but we can travel across worlds when we fall asleep or wake up. There are four human dreamers on each planet, but one of Prospits dreamers has already died. Your sister, Jane.”

I froze for a second, watch Jade for any signs of a lie. I saw none. “What are you saying?”

“You, me, Jane, and Jake are or were all dreamers here. When one of us dies, so does their body here. The people who live here, they treat us like royalty. When your sister died, they held a grand funeral for her. They’ll do the same for us when our time comes.

“I’m taking you to see Jake. He’s dying, but not in the same way he is back on Earth. you can talk to him one last time, if you want. But we have to hurry- Dave’ll be getting up soon.”

I nodded, following suit as she broke into a jog. We arrived at one of the other towers within a few minutes, and Jade called out. Watching the window far above my head, I saw a black mop of hair pop out and wave. For a second, my heart lept into my throat and I couldn’t breath. Jade looked over at me, grinning at the expression of disbelief I wore.

“Go, say hi.” She gestured to the boy above us. I shot up into the air, appearing in Jake’s window in seconds. He was pale, but despite his obviously poor health he wore a bursting smile.

“Boy am I glad you woke up, John,” he rasped out. I smiled weakly, taking in his frail appearance. Bruises were dark underneath his bloodshot eyes, and his breathing was broken and watery.

I ignored it and pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go for a good few minutes. “I’m so sorry, Jake.” He wiped the tears from my cheeks when I pulled back.

“It’s not your fault, mate. It was bound to happen sooner or later, what with how stupid I always acted.” He sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling me down beside him. “We shouldn’t upset ourselves talking about the irreversible. How have you been? How’s that Dave character? I want to know what’s been happening over the past two days.”

“I’ve been alright, all things considered. Dave’s a great guy, once you get past the lame exterior. We went to his old apartment last night, and I leaned a lot about him. He lost his only family to a herd, like I did. It really hurt him, losing his brother the way he did. In a way, he’s just as broken as the rest of us. And he has amazing eyes- they’re like nothing I’ve even heard about before. Bright red, but not just one shade. It’s like, every different shade of red you could ever imagine. Oranges and pinks and the darkest you can think of, almost wine colored. It’s a kaleidoscope, looking into them.”

Jake chuckled and I whipped my head around to look at him. “What?”

“You’ve got it bad, Johnny boy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk that way about someone.” A heavy blush covered my cheeks and I rubbed the back of my neck.

“Is it that obvious?” I muttered. Jake only guaffed at me, his laughter turning into a hacking cough that had me jumping to my feet in alarm.

He waved me off, recovering after a minute. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Go get Jade, I think it’s going to happen soon.”

I went over to the window, waving her up, and turned back to Jake. He looked like he was drifting to sleep, and I knew that his body back on Earth was waking up, which meant Dave was probably in the basement or getting ready to enter. Jade stepped forward, resting her hands on his shoulders. He raised his head slowly, and for a second I saw the wild animal in his eyes that I had seen early that evening. Then he blinked, and he almost looked like the Jake I knew.

“Sorry, Jade. It’s getting hard to keep my eyes open.” He smiled sleepily at her, and at me. “I’ll always love you guys. Just remember that. I’ll never be entirely gone. If we wake and sleep on Earth and here, who’s to say there’s not somewhere else we go once we’re dead?” His steady blinking slowed down, until he didn’t open his eyes again. Jade laid him back on his bed, straightening his golden clothes before stepping back beside me.

We knew the exact moment he died. The raspy breathing that had become the only sound in the room sputtered and stopped completely. After a moment, a bead of red blood dripped from his mouth.

He was gone. Just like that, one of my best friends was dead. I turned to Jade and saw tears running down her face as she cried silently. A sob escaped her lips, and I pulled her into my arms. Holding each other, we sobbed until our eyes ran dry and our throats were raw. We walked back to our own towers, silent and seeking solitude.

I woke up as Dave was climbing back into the sleeping bag with me. I went to pull away from him, wanting to be alone in my suffering, but he buried his face into my shoulder. I removed his sunglasses and saw that his red eyes held unshed tears, so I turned back so our legs were tangled together and we hugged, lying on the cold cement of the roof, and I cried until this body was out of tears, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've planned out the rest of this story in its entirety, and there is a lot of death. I don't want to give anything away, but a lot of people die. Just wanted to inform everyone, even though I've got it tagged.


	11. Everyone Loves Liquid Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake's death was hard on everyone. Once they return to the town, John and Dave visit a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- this was all written at, like, 12 am, and I haven't really edited it. I'm just in the mood to write a lot right now, I'll come back and edit it later (maybe).

The next few days were tough for John. He was separate from the group, reserved, quiet. Nothing like the energetic, grinning goofball I had met. It’s normal to mourn for lost loved ones though, and I would never hold it against him. That morning we had set out at the asscrack of dawn, after eating a silent breakfast and preparing to fight with as little conversation as necessary.

John hadn’t been lying when he told me the group would benefit from fighting undead after I took care of Jake. They were all bursting at the seams with anger, sadness, and every negative emotion you can think of. I have to admit, they were great at harnessing it into energy and violence. John, probably most of all. He killed more of them that I could ever have taken on at once, at the peak of my ability and carelessness. At the end of the week, the block had been cleared and then some. Up as early as we could function, and out until we had to use flashlights to find the monsters. Finally, they were too exhausted to fight anymore and we started back to the town they were clearing this area for.

It had been a year since I saw a gathering of uninfected larger than John’s group, and before them it was the raiders who attacked the apartment. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but this town delivered.

Walls of vehicles stacked on top of each other made an irregular shape. There was a relatively small entrance, made out of metal gates reinforced with fencing and barbed wire. It opened quickly for us, and guards rushed out. They carried firearms, something I had never wielded and never wanted to. A few went to talk with John, while the rest poked and prodded us until we stripped and proved we hadn’t been bitten. At least they didn’t make me take off my shades.

They didn’t bother searching our bag, since between all of us there was only one duffle. They didn’t take our weapons, either, though they gave a lecture of keeping them sheathed the whole time we were in the town. Then it was time to enter.

Pre-apocalypse buildings stood beside hand-built shacks. Staring us in the face was a open market, full of dull brown booths selling produce, fabrics, weapons, scavenged goods, anything you could ask for. I stood  there, taking it all in, util Jade tugged on my arm and pulled me along with the group. Even then, I let her lead me while I stared around in wonder.

There were more people than I could count. Everyone wore dull clothes, as little as they could get away with. children wove between legs, laughing as oblivious to the world outside these make-shift walls. It was like a window into the old ages, with a splash of modern. The people churning butter and driving mules wore old band t-shirts and baseball caps.

The group was lead to one of the better maintained buildings. The corners were still chipped and window frames were missing glass, but the door was intact and inside, old tiles were almost unblemished. An old couple sat at the head of a big table, which sat a collection of rather well-dressed individuals. When the old woman saw us come in, she stood and cut of the discussion between her husband, presumably, and a man wearing a denim jacket.

“They made it back! Thank heaven. Come, take a seat.” She gestured to the already full table. John ducked his head appreciatively.

“Thank you, ma’am, but we don’t need to stay long.” He turned to the old man. “The houses have been cleared, as per your request. We lost two of our own, however, and I expect the fee we agreed on, in that case, to be paid in full. I’ll be at the bar. Thank you for hiring us, both of you.” John backed away from the table, maintaining eye contact with the man until he was but a few feet away from the doorway. The rest of the group followed suit and I scurried after them, a step behind.

“Holy shit was that intense,” I bursted as soon as we got out of the building. John looked over at me, amusement flashing on his stoic face for a second.

“I don’t fully trust anyone who leads towns of this size. And town leader, really, isn’t to be trusted in my opinion. They’re too easy to corrupt, if they think they’re acting in the ‘good of many.’ Think they’re a bunch of selfless bastards.” He turned away and strutted down the street. I noticed the rest of the group dispersing, most going to the market or to find a place to rest their heads. I hurried after John.

“So, what are you getting paid for that job?” he probably didn’t want my company, but fuck it. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

John sighed and I regretted asking that question. We arrived at the bar doors before he responded. “Medicine. Antibacterials, prescription pain meds, Epi-pens, whatever they can cough up. And, in the case we lost someone, Ben promised me all the necessary repairs on the truck and ten pounds of sugar. It’s basically modern-day currency,” he explained to my confused face.

I nodded, looking around the building we had just entered. It was rather dark, lit by actual lanterns. Most of it was empty but a few lost souls were conjugated around the bar along the back wall. John headed directly towards it and I followed. The bartender seemed to recognize him, letting out a roaring laugh and gesturing to one of the men seated in front of him. He saw me, and with a shrug made another move, giving me a stool. Shrugging, I flopped myself into the seat and drummed my fingers on the sealed wood. John ordered a glass of hard liquor, while I took my time to actually look over the chalkboard overhead that listed off the menu.

“What type of rum are you serving?” I finally asked.

The man raised an eyebrow, but answered me. “I’m not quite sure. Something RonRico, probably.”

I winced, lips pulling back to a grimace. Though I had been a nerd, Bro had never been the best guardian and I had found most of my escapes in a bottle with him. At least that way, I learned what was actually good and what was shit. The tender chuckled. “What, are you used to Chairman’s Reserve or something?”

Letting out a scoff, I tipped my head back at glanced over the choices again. “ Do we have any plans today or tomorrow?” I asked John quickly. He shook his head, already halfway through his glass and in no mood to talk about the future. The other patrons at the bar, who had started listening to my conversation with the tender once he mentioned quality alcohol, got a laugh out of that one. “Fuck it, gimme a Jaeger Bomb.” A few outright guaffed at that, and I fell onto the defensive.

“What do you have against a good drink that’ll make you forget some shit for a few hours?” That got them to shut up, bringing us all back to the harsh reality that we could all use a bit of liquid amnesia.

I dropped the shot of amber alcohol into the redbull, taking a cautious sip. I let my face screw up for the amusement of others, though I could easily have kept in schooled in the neutral expression I could usually pull off.  With a deep sigh and a muttering of ‘here it goes,’ I threw back the whole drink. Relishing in the sharp burn as it went down my throat, I sighed. After giving myself a shake to dismiss the haze of sleepiness I felt on the edge of my conscious, I glanced over at John and caught his staring.

“What’s wrong, Egbert?” Shit, I could already feel the alcohol hit my system. How much Jaeger had he given me? More than a shot, it felt like. I blinked and noticed the person beside me was opening his mouth to speak.

“Do you have much experience in drinking?” He was already slurring, and a quick glance at his glass proved to me that, which I may be able to hold my liquor, he could not. He hadn’t even made it through one glass of scotch.

“Yes, my friend, I do have experience in getting drunk. I may be a virgin, but I’m not a nerd.” Fuck. this was bad, I already felt out of it. That stuff wasn’t supposed to be that bad, right? Shrugging, I turned back to the bartender. “A Salty Dog, please, and a glass of water for my friend.” Well, at least I still sounded like human. Peering over at the other men, I noticed they could barely contain their laughter. “There was a lot more kick to that than I’m used to,” I complained. That made them pop, letting out loud bursts of laughter and a few had to wipe away tears. Was I already slurring or something?

I looked at John and he shrugged, but I wasn’t about to trust that drunk fuck. Our drinks slid across the bar and I pressed the water into John’s hand, replacing the empty glass he was clinging to. I sipped my drink, a mixture of Vodka and grapefruit juice.

One of the people clustered around the bar tapped my shoulder. A boy, just a bit older than us. “What type of shit are you drinking to forget?”

His question threw me for a loop. Was he asking about my past, or my drink? I went with the later. “Get yourself a good ol’ Jaeger Bomb, kid. And no, I’m not drunk. Jus’ a bit buzzed, that’s all,” I muttered into my drink. He laughed, and if I wasn’t already smitten with John it would have been music to my ears. Still, it was nice to make someone as pretty as him laugh a bit.

“No no, I mean…” He paused to think about his phrasing. “What’s so bad that you want to forget about?”

I gestured to the room around us, though I was talking more about the whole world we lived in. “Take a look outside and that’ll give you a good hint.” I took a sip before continuing. “Ever killed one of ‘em that was your friend? Your brother? Your only family left in this hell hole, the one who raised you and tried his damnedest to take care of you?”

His face, which had been wearing a playful, borderline flirtatious expression, dropped. “Oh.” The bar was silent for a few minutes, all of us sinking a bit deeper into our drinks before someone spoke up.

“So, you guys have seen outside the walls recently?” I nodded. “What’s it like? I heard from a friend that the undead are thick as grass in the cities. Wander in packs, like wolves.”

Shrugging. “I lived in the city, before. Stuck around for a good half a year. It ain’t too bad, ‘specially if you travel at night. They only smell ya’ when the sun’s out.” A sip. “If you’re traveling with lotsa people, or you’re deep somewhere that had a big population, they’ll travel in herds. Terrifying, that’s what it is, when you turn a corner and run face-first into one. Your only chance at that point is to stand and fight, and you sure as hell ain’t gonna last long. ‘S what happened to me an’ my Bro.” I drifted off, lost in thought about the man I had lost a while ago. Damn, I thought I was done with all this emotional shit.

The bar fell into relative silence after that. A few people held conversations with each other, but no one tried to rope John or me into another conversation. Seems they could tell how much being out there was messed us up, and didn’t want to risk someone snapping. Probably for the better.

We stayed in the bar for a few hours. Eventually, the old man- John had called him Ben- showed up.

“You don’t have the best choice of locations to meet up, do you boy?” were the first words out of his wrinkled up mouth. John shrugged, less out of it that before but still drunk enough not to care. I sat back and spectated.

“You alright there, John?” He asked, reaching out to touch the boy’s arm. He lurched into the bar, squinting his eyes shut. I reached out, keeping him steady while I turned to Ben.

“Hey there, Dave Strider. Pleased to meet you. My friend here’s had a bit too much to drink- quite frankly, so have I. Sorry about this, we just came back from a rough few days. I was gonna take him back to our rooms to sleep it off, but I’ve got no clue where they are. Care to offer a helping hand?”

Ben wore an expression somewhere between bemusement and concern. The bartender leaned forward and offered a bit of help. “Their both wasted off their asses and have no clue where they’re crashing for the night.” I smiled at the tall man, thankful for his translation. With a nod, the old man grabbed my wrist and led me, dragging John behind me as an after thought, out of the bar.

It was a decently long walk to our rooms, which turned out to be a large, open room where everyone else had already set up for the night. Sure, it was only six, but we were tired and they was nothing better to do. Our own sleeping bags (well, John’s sleeping bags that we shared) were sprawled out in a far corner, a larger distance between us and everyone else than there was between others’ blankets.

After helping Ben lay the black-haired boy down, I curled up beside him. Even if I didn’t want to admit it, I was wasted. My head was stuffed with cotton and helium, I couldn’t hold a thought, and my muscles were delayed when I tried to move. It was a strangely comforting experience, but I knew I would regret all that alcohol in the morning.

John wasn’t ready to fall asleep yet. He started mumbling into the fabric of the sleeping bag, and I lifted his head so to hear him clearly.

“You know, Dave, you’re a nice guy,” he slurred out. If I had been a bit more sober, I’d have seen where this was going and stopped it. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t. “I don’t know if you know this, Dave, but I like you.” Drool dripped from the corner of his mouth.

“I like you too?” I responded with more of a questioning tone, because as if this was a secret. We shared a sleeping bag for god’s sake.

“No no no, I mean I like like you.” A giggle followed his confession, and I let out a sigh.

“John, you stupid, I like like you too.” I found myself giggling too, and abruptly stopped. Wait, had I actually said that? I paused, adopting a strange look on my face as I thought over the words we had shared meer seconds ago. He liked me, he’d said it. Yeah, he was drunk, but so was I. That didn’t make my confession a lie. I’d told him I liked him, shit. What was going to happen between us? I’d just met him a week ago, he had just lost one of his best friends. Neither of us were in a condition to start a romantic relationship. Fuck.

“Oh.” That was all he had to say in response? Really, John? Shaking my head, I flopped my head down onto the pillow we used.

“Go to sleep, Egdork. You’re drunk.” He snorted at that, but followed suit and laid his head next to mine. His light snores filled the air and I, too, slowly drifted off into a hazy sleep.

I woke up surrounded by purple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll right now with this story, but I've got no idea when I'm going to lose inspiration again. I'm gonna write as much as I can now though.


	12. A Glimpse Into the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up, Dave gets a big shock. Jade gives him a bit more to think about, back on Earth.

Everything from the foreign walls that surrounded me to the sheets covering me to the mixing board in the far corner was some shade of purple or another. When I threw back my covers, a giant cloud of dust rose up and tried to choke me. It settled after a few minutes, and I got up to look around the room. As I was moving I glanced down and got yet another shock- I wasn’t wearing what I had been when I went to sleep. Instead of dirt and blood stained tatters, I was dressed in what looked like purple pajamas that hadn’t seen a day of work. More than this was strange, I felt an intense wave of déjà vu. I had seen this room before, I had been here before. But when? Where? This was more than I could handle.

I fell heavily into a desk chair, dropping my head into my hands. A minute of internal conflict was enough for me to come to a solution. I was dreaming, and this was just in my mind. I had gone to bed still tipsy. I got up, giving everything in the room a once over- it was almost an exact replica of my old room, minus the color scheme. Content that this couldn’t possibly be real, I went to the window. It had no glass, just a brick sill wide enough for me to stand in and tall enough for me to fill it without crouching. What stood beyond it was enough to take my breath away, despite it being a figment of my imagination. Sprawled out below me was a massive city, large enough that I could see the curvature of the planet instead of the edge. Everything, like my room, was purple. In the dark shadows in the city I saw dark people moving around in silence. I stood there, watching the strange world I had created in my mind, for what felt like hours before I glanced up at the twilight sky.

The sky itself was a deep purple, but what caught my attention were the clouds that filled it. Billowy and massive, they were all stark white with no definition. Like cutouts floating overhead. The more I stared at them, they more if felt like I was staring through something. Fed up with how they darkened an already shadowy world, I ripped my aviators of my face and stared at the largest cloud I could find.

Something slowly started to take form- it looked like a city almost identical to mine, but it was dressed in gold and sunlight. I watched as two humans made their way through the streets, stopping to greet various residents of the city, all wearing some ridiculous garb. The two didn’t seem to notice their follower, a troll wearing golden pajamas like them with horns that stuck up far above their head. The more I watched the troll, the more I felt like I had seen them before. Perhaps in another insane dream like this one? Putting that thought into the back of my mind to worry over later, I focused on the scene unfolding in the cloud above me. I saw a glint of something sinister in the trolls milky white eyes as they got closer to the duo. a sudden realization hit me- those two humans were John and Jade, and I was about to watch them be murdered.

If I could have warned them, I would, but instead I sat there, entranced, as the troll’s eyes lit up in a rainbow of colors. Green and red and yellow flashed across the orbs and a malevolent grin stretched across their sewn shut lips, and Jade collapsed on the cobblestone. John took longer to fall. He seemed to be struggling, fighting against whatever the horrible troll was trying to do, but eventually he fell as well. Before his eyes slipped shut and he fell, they rose and locked with mine. He could see me, somehow. This cloud acted as a window between our planets of opposites. He was trying to say something, but his dying body had already lost its breath.

Sapphire eyes faded as the life slipped out of them until they were staring blankly at me. Their murderer raised their head and stared through the cloud, the smile dropping from their grey lips when they saw me. The tears I felt threatening to fall dried up, and I met their eyes with hatred unakin to anything I had felt before. For a second, fear flashed across their face before they faded out and I was left alone, staring at the two lifeless bodies strewn out on the yellow street.

The rest of the dream- because that’s what it was, I knew- was spent staring at the clouds, begging for an explanation for what I just saw. Two of my new friends killed for no apparent reason by a troll that had rainbow eyes, and no murder weapon. What was my subconscious trying to tell me? Were our lives at risk, beyond the whole ‘planet-wide disease that takes over your body’ threat? Giving up on trying to figure out what this could mean on my own, I lay on the dusty, purple bed and fell back asleep.

I woke up before John, and lay there for a few minutes gaining my bearings. My dream was still strong in my mind, though I could already feel parts of it fading. Spotting Jade already awake, staring at the two of us with disappointment, I tried to get up and join her. The second I shifted, sitting up, I remembered what we had done yesterday. With pain unlike any I had experienced recently, I crawled out of the sleeping bag. Two glasses of water and a bottle of ibuprofen sat near us. Apparently someone didn’t want us immobile for the majority of the day. Grateful to my savior, I swallowed down three of the little red pills and got up, ignoring the jackhammer going mad inside my skull, and made my way over to Jade.

“You two were out for quite a while last night,” she quipped. With a grimace at how her words added to the fire in my nerves, I frowned.

“Did we wake you when we came back?”

She snorted, though she noticed my discomfort and lowered her voice. “I think you woke everyone, what with how much you two were laughing and stumbling around.”

“Shit…”” I breathed out, glancing around the rest of the group, still nestled into their blankets.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ve all gotten drunk at a safe zone once or twice.” Knowing there was a story behind her words, I raised an eyebrow. She blushed and waved away my gaze. “Why are you up so early, anyways? It’s not even nine o’clock, you can sleep in as long as you want here. We’ve got a few days to waste while the truck gets checked out.”

I shrugged, remembering why I had sought out a conversation with her in the first place. “I had a bit of a… uh… disturbing dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked hesitantly, knowing nightmares were usually a very personal experience.

Regardless, I nodded. “I ought to tell you about it, since you were a key player.” After taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I began retelling the dream.

She was quite through the whole story, though she adopted a troubled expression when I mentioned the odd troll. A few minutes of silence followed in its wake before she opened her mouth to speak.

“Dave… The place you were in your dream, it’s not something you made up in my mind, at least not entirely. You room is based on your memories, but that place is called Derse. Likewise, the gold city you saw is Prospit. Everyone has a body on one of those planets, until they die on Earth. This might come as a bit of a shock, but what you saw in the clouds might not just be something you made up, either. The clouds of Skia act as a window into the future. There’s no telling  how soon the event you saw will happen, but if nothing is done John and I could very easily be killed tonight. That being said, we could also die in fifteen years. That’s the only downfall about it, I guess- there’s no timestamp.”

I was quick to take a seat, running my hand over the parts of my face not covered by my glasses. “If this is some kind of joke, Jade, it’s too fucking early for this.” She was silent, draw a heavy sigh out of me as I carded my fingers through my hair. “What the hell has life become? Aliens live side by side with humans, we’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and everyone goes to another planet when they sleep? What bombshell are you going to drop on my next?”

After letting me rant at her for a minute, she grimaced. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

“God dammit… Why did I ask for this? Lay it on me, I don’t think anything else can phase me at this point.”

“When you came in last night, since you were so loud, um… we may have heard your short conversation with John last night.” I tilted my head, confused. What conversation was she referring to? Everything was a blur last night, and we had both been so intoxicated. Furrowing my brow, I tried to focus on any words we might have exchanged before bed. With a jolt, I remembered something- a confession of attraction, on my part. Shit, had I told John that I liked him? That did sound like the type of conversation drunk me would have. One glance at Jade was confirmation that yes, I did stupidly tell John and, apparently, everyone else it the group that I was crushing on him. I couldn’t remember much else besides that, and look to Jade for help piecing together what we had said.

With a deep sigh, she leaned in closer me. Like she was preparing to share a secret with me. “He likes you too, stupid.”

I snorted, leaning back and away from her. I was sure she’d crack and let out a giggle in a few seconds, but when she didn’t I leaned back in, too curious to write her off as a better prankster than I expected. “What do you mean, he likes me? I mean, we are friends, I guess, even though we haven’t known each other for long.”

She giggled at that, for some unknown reason. “No, Dave, he _likes_ you. In the same way you like him.” I shook my head, not about to buy into her unlikely tale. Not that I wasn’t capable of understanding why people developed feelings for myself- I’m not about to deny my twinkish appeal- but this was too good to be possible. Never, in all of my sixteen years, had I experienced a mutual attraction. Sure, I had crushes and I knew people had short-lived crushes on me, but those were usually straight guys or dicks who just wanted to fuck a twink. John was far too good of a person for me. “It’s true! I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people click so quickly, even though neither of you are willing to admit it to each other. Unless you’re piss-drunk, I guess… Either way, you were practically made for each other! Give a week or two, and I’m sure you’ll be the cutest couple.”

A blush threatened my cheeks and I glanced away, suddenly more than interested in the dirty tile flooring. “Don’t get your hopes up, Harley. He’ll grow tired of me soon enough. It’s happened before.” I shrugged, as if admitting that every relationship I had got botched in one way or another was an easy thing. She looked like she wanted to argue more, but a commotion behind us kept the words from leaving her lips. I turned around, ready for the rest of the group to mock me for my late-night confession and drunkenness.

John slowly sat up, holding his head and groaning faintly. His head slowly turned to look at us, and a frown grew on his lips. “What on Earth happened last night?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, I want to apologize (damn, it feels like that's all I do in the notes). I said that I was on a roll, and then disappeared for almost a month. I had marching band camp, but that's not really an excuse. School's starting again, so updates will be scattered as usual. Hopefully I can find a little bit of free time to get some writing in during the week.  
> That being said, I want your opinions. As the readers of my work, I need you help in making a decision that, while not to big, is important. I want to include the transgender spectrum in this piece and I want to know how you would feel if I made Dave a trans guy. Like I said, it's not too big of a deal but something I would like your help in deciding. It would mean a lot to me if you could take a second to tell me your opinion in the comments. Thanks!


	13. Hangovers Are The Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking, vomiting, and romantic advice. John just woke up for Christ's sake, why can't he catch a break?

Everything was too loud, and the sunlight starting to peek in through the window was blinding me. Glancing around through squinted eyes, I saw that Dave and Jade were the only ones up and, lo and behold, were the ones causing the racket. With a little (a lot of) trouble, I sat up and held my pounding head. They both stopped talking- thank god- and looked over at me. “What on Earth happened last night?”

Jade smirked and Dave stiffened, rising to his feet and rushing to the bathroom to do what I felt like doing myself- throw up everything left in his stomach. Jade and I sat there, silent, which he retched over the toilet. A wave of nausea passed through me at the sound and I clasped a hand over my mouth, knowing that if I even moved I’d spew all over the floor.

“You really do such at holding your alcohol, don’t you?” Jade shook her head and went in to check on Dave, who had quieted down and was groaning softly. After a few moments it was safe for me to move around again, and I noticed the water and pills. Grateful towards whoever had left them there, I swallowed three pills and chugged the rest of the water in an attempt to sooth my Sahara desert of a throat. It only served to upset my stomach again, but this time I knew I could contain any vomit that tried to come up. Hopefully.

Trying my hardest to ignore the pounding in my head, I got to my feet and stumbled after Jade. Dave was sprawled out in front of the toilet bowl, clinging to the rim like it was the only thing holding the upper half of his boy up. It probably was, when I stopped to think about it. His shades had been pushed up and forced his bangs to stick up at insane angles, but at least it kept them from sticking to his forehead. His eyes were scrunched shut, in part because Jade was there but also due to his hangover coupled with light sensitivity. No doubt his headache would come back doubled in no time.

            “You both are idiots. You know that, right?” Jade chided, both of us wincing at the sound of her voice echoing in the small, tiled room. With a sigh, she sat back. “I’ll go make some breakfast, hopefully your stomachs will be able to handle a little bit of food by then.” At that she left, and our occasional groan was the only sound we had to endure.

            When Jade started to cook, the smell of frying eggs had my stomach rebelling. Dave took one look at my face and pulled away from the toilet. I surged forward, barely making it in time to heave up the contents of my stomach. Clammy hands kept my hair out of my face and away from my mouth, which was now lined with vomit. I pulled away with a grimace, close to gagging up more stomach acid at the taste. Honestly I didn’t know why I still went out and got wasted as soon as we got back to a safe zone. It was something of a tradition by now, but I had never roped anyone else up with it like I had Dave. Then again, it was the blonde’s choice to drink his jaeger or whatever it was. Everything was hazy and warped, and I couldn’t remember anything about the trip back to our quarters. All I could think about was Dave’s flushed face after he had a few drinks, and how loose his emotions had become. Everything was always held back with him, hidden behind a mask that I’d only seen broken once or twice. When he was drunk, though, it was like he let out everything he was trying to keep contained. All the smiles, the laughter, even the tears and anger. His laugh had quickly become one of my favorite things, even though I could tell he was embarrassed by it eve in his intoxicated state. It bubbled up from his diaphragm and hiccupped from his mouth, short and choppy and rough like he didn’t laugh enough to get used to making the sound. It only lasted for a few second, until he realized what he was doing and schooled it back into a ‘normal’ laugh, something that rumbled in his throat when he chuckled.

            I was pulled away from my remembering by a cleared throat, not as loud as it could have been but enough to grate on my eardrums. Dave was staring at me, and I realized I had been doing the same for who knows how long. “What do you remember from last night?” He asked in a whisper, a look of pity crossing his face when I winced at even that.

            “Not much,” I responded as quietly as I could. “How did we get back here?”

            He chuckled, nothing like his real laugh but real enough to make my breathing stutter. “That old man found us and brought us back. I think the rest of the crew’s kinda pissed ‘cause Jade said we were pretty loud.”

            I shrugged, knowing they would understand why we had gone out. They might not support it, but everyone got drunk now and again. I could still vividly recall the time Karkat had come back slurring. He turned out to be a happy drunk, much to the shock- and to a degree, fear- of the rest of us.

            “Do you think you can stomach any food right now?” Dave once again brought me back to present. My grimace at just the idea of eating right now was his answer. His stomach let out a loud growl though, and a light blush dusted his cheeks.

            “Go, Jade won’t be very happy if neither of us eat what she’s making.”

            “Is it edible?”

I almost let out a gauff before remember that my skull was cracking open. “She did use to do most of the cooking before you arrived. You’ll live.” Ever since the blonde had joined us, we had been eating what tasted like five star meals compared to what we had before. Not that the rest of us were completely unskilled in the kitchen, but there was no competition when it was decided that Dave was the new head chef.

And so he left, remembering to pull his shades down over his eyes again and to wipe off his mouth. Now surrounded by silence, I tried again to bring back any memory or what happened last night. There was something just of the edge of my conscience, something I could have sworn I said last night but I couldn’t recall exactly what it was-

It hit me. Like a punch to the gut I remembered what I said to Dave just before we fell asleep and I threw myself at the toilet again. Nothing much came up, though my throat burned and my eyes watered. Sober me wouldn’t even dream of saying anything, but when I was drunk I was known to slip out secrets. Had I really… Had I told Dave that I liked him? It made me sick to the stomach to think about it, but not in the way that I was retching again. The conversation was piecing itself together in my mind. I had told him I liked him, specified that it was more than friendly. Dammit, why did I have to be such an idiot? Dave would never return my affections. That was a crazy thought, why would he? There was much about me that was particularly appealing, right? Casting a glance through the open door, I saw the two of them muttering about something or another. It looked like Jade wanted to say something, but stopped herself. Dave was arguing, making sharp gestures and speak just quiet enough that I couldn’t overhear him.

Jade, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care how loud she was. “Come on, Dave, it’s mutual. Just let me talk to him, he likes-” Dave lunged forward and clasped his hand over her mouth. I could feel the intensity with which they glared at each other even from where I was sprawled out. Finally the blonde pulled back, seemingly apologizing under his breath. Jade responded, equally as quiet, before Dave turned and left the room. Once he closed the front door- softly, so as not to awaken anyone else- Jade glanced over at me. She saw me staring and tried on a smile that we both knew was fake.

Letting out a sigh, she joined me again in the bathroom. “Sorry about that, I know you’re still a bit sensitive to loud noises and the like. That was just about something we were talking about earlier. How are you feeling?”

“Jade, did I tell Dave I liked his last night?” She winced, like she was the one with a pounding headache.

“Did you hear us, or…?”

It was obvious she regretted asking when my face froze at the new information. “He remembers? He- he knows?” My heart began to splinter and my lungs seized up, knowing that wasn’t the type of thing a friendship usually recovered from. It was too early in the game, we had barely known each other for a week. It tore into me to know that I wouldn’t even be able keep him as a friend, most likely. Would he hate me for this? It’s not like I could help who I was attracted to, but still. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the logical part of me was saying he’d still endure being my fried after all of this, but that part of me was being overruled by fear at the moment. Jade was being awfully quiet, and a glance sent her way told me that she was dealing with some internal conflict of her own.

Finally she made her decision and reached out, grabbing my forearm. “John, calm down. Yes, Dave knows you like him. But… He doesn’t want me to tell you this but he… He likes you too.”

I froze, latching onto her every word and trying to understand what she was saying. “I mean… He’s my friend, yeah, but that’s not what you’re saying, is it?”

She shook her head, a smile gracing her lips. “He likes you the same way you like him, but he doesn’t think you really meant it last night. I think you ought to go tell him again just what you mean.”

Running my hand over my face, I nodded. “I probably should, but… What if he doesn’t really like me? Maybe he was just really drunk last night and-”

Jade slapped my cheek, just enough to snap me out of that mentality. “He’s just as nervous as you are, John. Just go out there, tell him how you feel, and trust me when I say it’ll work out.” I nodded, trying to find my balance and stand up. “So long as you don’t throw up on him, you’ll be good.”

I sighed, taking a deep breath and slowly making my way through the room. I just hoped that he didn’t go too far- I wouldn’t be able to make it very far in this state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might try to set up a tentative update schedule, and post a new chapter every two weeks. High school's a bitch, and a lot of my free time is about to be eaten up by marching band, but I'll try.


	14. John Follows up on Jade's Suggestion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John follows Dave out into the street and they have a little talk.

I noticed his blond head not too far down the sidewalk, standing still amidst the rush of morning traffic. I tried calling out his name, wincing as the pounding in my head increased to a not-quite-numbing pain. He turned and the faintest bit of a frown crossed his lips for a second before he began to wade through the crowd. I could tell me was mumbling apologies to the people the bumped past as he made his way back, against the flow. It took a few minutes for him to find his way back in front of me. I could see through his aviators, barely, and saw that his eyes were puffy, like he had been crying. The urge to pull him into a bear hug was strong, and I had to take a step back to contain myself.

“So. Nice weather, right?” We shared a scoff and I saw him roll his eyes.

“How’s your head doing?” He asked after a few seconds of awkward silence. I groaned and he nodded, and we lapsed into quiet again.

“Why’d you follow me?” He was an unending fountain of questions, wasn’t he?

Shrugging, I glanced off to the side. I had hoped to avoid this question, at least until my rebelling stomach calmed down. “I… I know.” It was like everything around us faded, and we were trapped in a bubble together. His face froze and so did I, not knowing how he would react. I didn’t really know much about him, in all honestly. Was this something I really wanted?

He wavered, torn between the instinctual urge to run and some deeper pull that told him to stay. If he was willing to remain rooted, despite his terrified expression, I would as well.

A faint murmur escaped his lips, far too quiet for me to hear. Cocking my head, I gave him an intent stare until he repeated himself, head ducked and eyes squeezed closed. “I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t help myself this time, surging forward and pulling him into my arms and pressing his face into my shoulder. His glasses stabbed me, and I didn’t doubt for a second that they were also jabbing into him, but he just clung to me and, if possible, pulled me closer. “No, no. Don’t be sorry, Dave,” I cooed into his feathery hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

He pulled away, a hand shooting up to wipe away a few stray tears. “It’s not okay, John. I shouldn’t have these… these… feelings. You’re my friend and it’s weird and they shouldn’t be a thing but they are, so I’m sorry.”

He turned to leave. My hand shot out and grabbed his, pulling him back around to look at me again. I didn’t let go- I couldn’t. “God dammit Dave, I’m sorry too.” I paused, trying desperately to grasp at the stray thoughts bouncing around in my head. “I’m sorry, because you’re my friend and I like being your friend, but I have these feelings that keep me from being there for you. These emotions that give me an ultimatum- I can’t be around you unless I can be with you.” This time my pause was more for dramatic effect, though I was still grasping at straws.

“I don’t know how to do this type of thing. I’ve never been the best at relationships, and I’m just as confused and awkward and young as you are, but I know what I want. I want you.”

I began to notice a few people were watching the two idiots standing in the middle of the sidewalk, holding an obviously personal conversation. Before Dave had a chance to respond, I pulled him on a side-road with less traffic. He was stunned silent, jaw slack and mouth slightly open. Through his sunglasses he was staring at me, wide-eyed. “Dave?” He said nothing. “Dave, please say something.” His lips twitched a bit, like he was trying to say something but couldn’t make a sound. “Are you-”

He dove forward and wrapped his arms around me. For someone so lean, he was stronger than anyone who had held me in a long time. We stood there for what felt like forever, standing silently and breathing in each other’s presence. Seconds turned into minutes until finally we pulled apart, both blushing like mad.

“So, uh, what does this make… us?” he asked at last, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. I shrugged, equally embarrassed at this point.

“What do you want this to make us?” It was the only thing I could think of saying at this point. I hadn’t been lying when I said that romantic relationships were not my forte. The only real one I’d had was with Vriska, and she had always been a bit… off. This, though, this was something I really wanted.

He let out a sound of discomfort, his facing going to red I was worried that he would overheat. “I-I’d really like to, um, how do I put this… I’d really like to date you, I think? Oh god I’m sorry this is too awkward. I should probably, um, leave…”

“No, don’t do that,” I begged, lunging out and snagging his arm before he could walk away. “I… Dear lord you’re right, this is really hard to say… I’d like to date you too? I don’t know how easy it’ll be, seeing as we are in the apocalypse. I don’t know how long this’ll last, either, We are, after all, teenagers. But I do know that I like you a lot right now, and I can’t help it. Okay?” My heart was pounding away in my chest and I stared at him, eyes wide, all of my effort going into showing him that I was being sincere. He nodded mutely, letting me pull him back in closer to me. Still silent, he took my hand in his. With his other, he reached up and pulled off my sunglasses. Beautiful red kaleidoscope eyes stared back at me. They were searching my soul, making sure that this was what I wanted. I knew everything he would find, because I was letting all of my emotions bubble up the surface. Anything he wanted, he could have. Right now, I would be willing to sacrifice everything to save him. This wasn’t safe, I knew, but nothing would keep me from falling deeper and deeper into my affection for him.

He leaned forward and for a second, I thought me was going to press his chapped lips to mine. Our eyes slipped closed on their own accord, and I trailed my tongue across my lips. The pressure never came, not there. He pressed a close-lipped kiss to my forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling away. I opened my eyes to his pink cheeks and downcast eyes.

“Sorry, I-I’ve never kissed anyone before. I don’t know how to do this.” He buried his face in my neck, heat radiating off of his skin with the strength of his blush.

“It’s okay. We can take this as slow as you want.” He nodded, still hiding himself in my neck. It was a shock, how affectionate he was being now, but I wasn’t complaining. It was comforting to know that he at least wanted that much closeness. “Do you want to go back to the room now? Does your head hurt at all?” I had a feeling what his answer would be, but I still wanted to make sure he was comfortable. His head jerked back, almost cracking against my jaw, and his eyes went wide. He looked scared, almost, with the mere thought of rejoining the group so soon after he first admitted his attraction to me while drunk and later conversed with Jade about the prospect of a relationship with me. Shit, Jade was going to know. Honestly, it would be impossible to hide this fromt he rest of the group, especially once we got back out on the road. Still, I didn’t want to deal with any of them right now. They would no doubt mock us until we managed to escape, anyway.

“I’ll take that as a no,” I chuckled at his reaction. Tension faded slightly from his face when he realized I didn’t want to, either. “Still, we have a few days until the truck is fixed up and we can leave. What do you want to do?”

Glancing off to the side in a shy manner, Dave muttered something so quietly I had to crane my neck to hear him. “How about our first date? It’s not like we can do much when we’re out and about, after all.”

I grinned, diving in for his hand so I could drag him off and around the safe zone. “Sounds like a plan! Dave Strider, I’m going to take you on the best first date of your life!” He was quick to slip his shades back over his eyes as we took off down the street. There were so many places I could think of to take him, but where would I start? The headaches we had both been plagued with that morning had all but faded, likely a combination of time, awakeness, and distraction. Still, I didn’t want to aggravate anything to the point where they returned.

We arrived at the market booth I was aiming for in less than five minutes, though Dave was panting a bit from moving so fast. I made his close his eyes before it was in sight, even going so far as to lift his shades up so I could tell he wasn’t cheating. Hopefully my sappiness wouldn’t be too much for him. The seller saw our hands, clasped together, and broke out into a grin which grew when she saw Dave’s blank, unsuspecting face.

“John! It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I’m glad to see you’ve got someone now. I always knew that troll girl was no good…” I blushed, ignoring her comments and reaching into my pockets for something to pay her with. She waved me off once she realized what I was doing, reassuring me that it was ‘on the house.’

Her table top was covered in beautiful bouquets, starring all different types of flowers. I found one full of bright pinks and oranges, with one or two red roses hidden against the backdrop of green leaves and stalks. Pressing them into his hand, I whispered ‘open your eyes’ into his ear. A faint shudder trailed down his spine. I could tell the moment he saw what we were holding, because a soft gasp only I had the privilege to hear slipped out out of his lips. His lips, normally a stoic line in public, curved up and pulled back slightly to reveal white teeth slightly out of order, obviously never having seen braces. It seemed that more and more often, his facade slipped and revealed his honest emotions. I loved it.

“Come on, I’ve got so much more to share with you around here.” I tugged him onward, silently noting the way he clung tightly to the bouquet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me want to slap both of them and myself, I am so sorry for the awkwardness...  
> What do you think? Is this chapter as bad as I think it is? Please talk to me, I'm lonely.


	15. Flowers, Fist-Fights and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave go on their first date, and learn about each other. For instance, Dave can really throw a punch.

We pressed our backs firmly to the door, cheeks flushed and faces contorted by out-of-control grins. John was the first to start laughing, a contagious giggle that he transferred to me until we were both clutching at our ribs. The room was empty- it seemed that the rest of the group had gone out for the evening. I was more than thankful, seeing as how I had confessed my love to John while drunk last night with all of them as my audience. My heart was racing and I’m sure his was doing the same. We had, after all, just sprinted halfway across the zone. Talk about a crazy first date, right?

After flowers, John gave me a tour of his favorite booths. Most of theme were friendly, holding conversations and cracking wide smiles when they saw John take my hand in his. A baker was even kind enough to give us a small bag of cookies, as John had saved her husband from zombies a while back. After, he led me into the ‘rural’ area. Small fields bursting with produce of all shapes, barns full of animals, lots filled with farm tools settled in to last out the winter. We waded through the crops, comfortable with the silence, breathing in clean air without the threat of the undead. In the end our wandering brought us to an old barn, where John led me into the loft above. Cobwebs hung in the corners, but there were bales of hay and a picnic blanket, so we were content. He lit a small lantern someone kept up there and the warm glow washed over everything, dispelling the shadows and faint nip of autumn air. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, John pulled me closer to him. We sat there, watching as the sun slowly sank in the stark blue sky. In the distance, gentle lights from the urban area of the safe zone flickered and came on. I had learned that they found a way to create electricity again, though just in small amounts. Most people still had to use candles and oil lamps, though the fence around the zone was electrified. The border always smelled like charred flesh, John informed me.

Not long after the sun started setting, I noticed someone making their way up the slight incline that led to the barn. They were a troll, with rather twisted horn that had chunks taken out of them. John stiffened when he saw them,

“Who is that?” I asked. He said nothing, his lips going white as he pressed them together. “John, who is that?”

His response was little more than a breathy whisper. “See their gait? they’re following something. It’s a scenter. It’s a, uh, troll blood type. They’re hired to track down certain people and return them to those who hire them.” A silence fell over us as we watched the silhouette approach. They were still just a small figure in the distance, but it would be a threat sooner rather than later.

“Who would want to track us down?” I broke the silence eventually, turning my head to look at him.

“The list goes on and on. Mostly for bad reasons, too. If he’s just from around this zone, that narrows down the list a lot, but they can track across hundred of miles. We should probably get going. Like, now. We might be able to outrun them if we get a head start, but, yeah.” He grabbed my hand and hauled me to my feet, quickly cross the loft and going down the ladder. His speed was slightly alarming to me- was this threat really that big? What were the ‘bad reasons’ someone would try to track him down? Still, I followed.

As soon as my feet hit the hard-packed dirt we were off running, John dragging me by my hand. For one so heavy with muscle, he was surprisingly fast. I was light enough that I could keep up, though he was carrying me most of the way.

Our hearts were pounding in time with our feet and our breaths fell from our mouths in heavy gusts. Behind us I could hear the tracker, snorting and running after us. Gradually the distance between us closed, until my heart jumped into my throat when a heavy hand came down on my shoulder. John let out a puff of air, muttering ‘shit’ under his breath as he turned, ready to fight off the troll bare handed if he had to. To my surprise, his expression of determination- tinged with aggression- melted into one of shock and amusement. He barked out a laugh and let go of my hand, bending over to brace his hands on his knees. I was still quivering slightly in fear, even more confused now. The tracker let go of my shoulder, taking a step back with a cheek-splitting grin on their face. Once he caught his breath, John turned to me to explain.

“Sorry about that, Dave. I honestly didn’t know but…” He punched the tracker’s shoulder harshly, making them stumble. “This is Remmy. We’ve known each other for what, six years? Biggest douche in the country, hands down. Him and I, we used to get into all kinds of trouble. God, those were the days. What are you doing around here?”

The tracker- Remmy- chuckled playfully. “My lady and I just moved into this zone, the last one was getting too crowded. I love it when that happens, that’s when you know humanity isn’t dead. I got assigned work in the fields and I smelled you, with some stranger. Thought I’d come over to reminisce. Didn’t expect you to try to run away, of course.”

John rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, before responding. “Glad to see you finally found someone who could put up with your shit.” They shared a laugh, while I was left stand awkwardly beside John. “You can never be too sure who’s friend and who’s foe nowadays, especially for someone in my line of work. I’ve been a target of way too many grieving families…” The conversation lulled for a short while before John shook his head and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“The stranger you smelled, Rem, is this loser.” I shoved him away, blushing yet grinning widely. “We were actually, uh…” He fell silent.

I could tell he was struggling to think of a way to tell his buddy that we were on a date, so I butted in to spare him the awkward, stuttering explanation. “We were on a date, actually.” John went beet red, turning to bury his face into my shoulder. I scoffed, rolling my eyes before watching Remmy’s reaction. After a second he nodded, accepting it and deciding to move on. Wise choice, troll boy.

“Sorry to interrupt then, love birds,” he joked. We shared a smirk and John let out a groan into my sleeve.

“You’re fine, it’s getting late anyway, and we’ve been out all day. If you two want to spend some time hanging out, I can head back to our rooms.” I started walking away, completely done with the awkward atmosphere that had enveloped the entire conversation, but John snagged my hand.

“Maybe we could all hang out together? Introduce you to the trouble we used to get in all the time when we were younger.” He shot a grin at Remmy, who returned it two-fold.

My suspicious gaze shifted between the both of them for a solid minute before I caved. “What the hell, let's go fuck shit up.” They both scoffed at my exclamation before Remmy slung his arm around my shoulders. John let out a low growl, which his friend waved off.

“Before we do anything, I should tell you- it won’t be particularly legal, what we’re going to do. Does that sway you in either direction?”

John tightened his grip on my hand minisculely. I shrugged off Remmy’s arm, though I wore a faint smirk. “I’ve partaken in my fair share of illegal activities. What exactly did you two do for fun?”

And thus, we spent the remainder of the evening lurking in the alleyways with a handful of stolen cakes from a particularly nasty old baker. Remmy showed us around the nightlife of this zone, and I found interest in one of the better fight clubs. The troll told me that you could make a good sum of cash from a fight, if you made it work watching for the paying patrons. I figured that I’d try out my luck at it, and told John to hold my cakes.

“Dave, no! What if you get hurt?” he whinned, but he took the pastries from me. I gave him a peck on the cheek, flushing tomato red, before I approached the leader of the club.

He scoffed at me, taking note of my small stature and willowy limbs, but let me into the ring anyway. Another boy, slightly bigger than me, climbed in from the other side. He grinned at me, cracking his knuckles and rolling out his shoulders. The loud pop made me wince. Onlookers watching with vague interest placed small bets, but that didn’t really matter to me. An announcer said some words over a cheap speaker and my opponent began approaching. Taking some defensive steps back, I fell into a bracing stance. Turns out, he had a decent swing. His first punch connected with my forearm when I went to block it, and the second whistled by my ear. When he went in for a shot at my gut I jumped back and brought my leg up into side. He crumpled around the hit, leaving his other side open for a quick jab and a flat-handed smack on his jaw. The audience was a bit more interested now, and the talk lulled.

He tried to charge me, but I jumped aside like a matador and brought my knee up into his gut. When he curled over himself I brought my elbow down on the back of his head. Not enough to injure him or knock him out, but enough that he collapsed on the ground. A moment of silence filled the air as I made eye contact with the announcer before I felt hands wrap around my calf. My attacker pulled my leg out from underneath me and I shifted my weight so I fell on him, landing on his back and knocking out his air.

“Are we done?” I asked, more than willing to sit on this man until he mercied. The announcer slowly began to alert the onlookers of the results, as if they hadn’t been watching. I climbed out of the ring with a wide grin on my face, content with the small burst of adrenaline I had gotten from the fight, but the owners of the club came up to me, blocking my path to John and Remmy.

“Hey, those were some decent moves you pulled in there. How would you feel about earning a bit of extra money?”I glanced around him at John, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and Remmy.

Looking back at the announcer, I shrugged. “I’m not going to turn down free cash, but I’m a nomad. What do you have in mind?”

Turns out, this man wanted me to fight twice more tonight, winning both rounds. He was offering me a good sum of cash, or sugar, whatever. I was more than willing to, my veins begging for the rush and the pleasant pain of splitting my knuckles on someone’s jaw. Still, I had to talk it over with John before making any deals.

Remmy was all for it. He had enjoyed the match, and found by style ‘refreshing and unexpected.’ John, on the other hand, wouldn’t even entertain the thought until I threatened to beg.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Dave! Have you even seen the guys he wants you to fight? They could be massive!”

Eventually I was able to sway him though, and though he grumbled endlessly, I was back in the ring. That was when things started to go south.

When my opponent climbed through the bars, I thought it was a joke. He was massive, with hands that looked like they could rip my head off my shoulders. The crowd went crazy when he cracked his knuckles- everyone but John, who look like he was planning my funeral. I shrugged, stretching out my limbs and cracking my neck. The crappy speakers buzzed to life, and the fight began.

He lumbered towards me, giving me ample time to take light steps back and think about my tactic. I might be able to wear him out, but if he got a few good hits on me it was lights out. The threat really sank into me when I felt my heel hit the wall. A grin split his face at that, showcasing half a set of teeth. He was experienced, then. The space between us was closing down, until he was a few yards in front of me, obviously playing up the suspense for the crowd. When he swung, it was half-assed and I ducked, sweeping my leg out to try to catch him off-guard. It worked, and he wobbled enough for me to slid past him and get my back to open air again. He glared, advancing faster now and swinging with more umph. I dodged as best as I could, putting in my own hits here or there to work on bringing him down. Eventually, though, he lashed out and caught my temple. I went down hard, already feeling a bruise forming, and the frame of my sunglasses seemed to mould around my fist. The brute tried to land a kick on my ribs but I rolled out of the way, climbing to my feet. He was ready, though, and went for another punch that caught my jaw. It was lighter, and dazed me just enough that he could take a few steps forward. My response was a heavy strike on his nose and, when he grabbed at my hand, I kicked him in the gut. When he stumbled back I wiped my lip, which had been split by his punch. His nose, though, was gushing enough blood that it ran over his teeth.

“Now, now. That wasn’t very nice, was it?”He grunted out, lunging in for another punch which I deflected with my forearm, wincing. I was taking defensive steps back, just waiting for the next hit that we would knock me out, when light filled the shady building. My opponent froze before turning and jumping the bars. Confused shouts turned it angry yelling, and the next second Remmy was at my elbow, pulling me towards the back of the building.

“Wait- what’s- Wh-” John was snagged by Remmy’s other hand, and we both were shove through a plywood door into a scummy alley. We didn’t stop there, pushing through ankle-deep plastic and empty bottles. We stopped a block from there, huddled in the shadows of yet another trashy back-alley. John pulled away and bent over, panting for the second time of the day. Remmy and I followed suit.

“I’ve been running way too much today,” John started. “and it’s all because of you, you shit.” He shot a grin at the troll to dull the insult. I couldn’t help but snort and got a faux glare from my friend- boyfriend, maybe. Hopefully.

The sky was black and endless when I threw my head back, taking in large lungfuls of the fresh air that burned in my throat, crisp and stinging, inhaling needles into my chest and expelling them in a forceful puff. Watching steam rise and drift apart into nothing, a fog that dispersed into the cloudless, starless void. The cement and brick walls that thrust their way into my field of view were cool to the touch, I found, when I leaned back against one. Ignoring the thin layer of rubbish that crunched appealingly under my old tennis shoes, I took  my time to admire John in this odd, romantic lighting.

His heavily tanned skin looked darker without sunlight draped over it. Sapphire eyes refracted the faint lamplight that was cast into our alleyway. The midnight frames of his glasses stood out against thick, shaped eyebrows and high cheekbones. His hair, falling across his forehead and strong brow, was the darkest shade of brown. A cowlick stood up at the back of his head, unfazed by the effects of gravity. It was endearing to see when exactly he realized I was admiring him, a blush dusting his cheeks and eyes darting down before they met mine. Remmy cleared his throat, interrupting us, and I realized that I had taken a step towards John.

“Listen, you two are adorable together but we need to clear out before the police widen their search-” The troll was cut off by a flashlight beam falling across all three of us, and a shout of alarm and success.

“Shit!” We took off, shoes slapping the pavement, ears craning to hear the officers chasing us. I do believe that Remmy was the cause of our non-stop running that day, and I made a point to state this opinion- as we were running.

Remmy branched away from us, saying that his house was just a few blocks in another direction. We stopped long enough to exchange parting word, broken up with heavy panting, before we had to start running again. And this was how we found ourselves with our backs pressed to a door to our quarters, out of breath, legs quaking from the strain. Once we started laughing we couldn’t seem tos top. We ended up on our rears, clutching out guts, backs pressed to the door still, for a good ten minutes. A knock on the door sobered us up, and we exchanged a fearful glance before John peered out through the peephole. A sigh of relief left his lips, but he quickly sucked it back in.

“Is it everyone else?” I asked quietly, almost whispering. The nod I got in response was clipped. “We have to face them eventually, you know. It’s not like we’re staying in this zone forever, right? And what’s so bad about what they heard anyway? I’m sure you experienced more embarrassing moments.”

He paused for a moment before letting out a defeated breath, pulling to door open. A very surprised Jade stood there, fist raised and ready to knock again. Behind her, Karkat starting laughing rather loudly. The rest of the group bunched together behind them, either smirking at us or looking away awkwardly.

“Alright, let me have it,” John started, all the fear and shyness I had seen before gone from his voice. “Hit me with all the jokes you’ve got. I’m ready.”

“I bet you are, John, I bet you are,” Karkat wheezed out. Even Jade had to snicker at the disgusted look that crossed my face. “What, you two haven’t gone that far yet?”

Jeez, Karkat, it hasn’t even been a day!” John exclaimed.

“I never took you ath thomeone to take thingth thlow, John,” Sollux retorted from the back of the cluster. Flustered, John couldn’t think of anything witty t respond with. The rest of the group added their own little joke as they passed by us on their way into the room. Only once everyone was inside and the door was closed did they get a good look at me, under the light of a candle Jade lit.

“Jethuth, Dave, you look like Equiuth uthed you ath a punching bag. What the hell happened?”

“I would never use something like a human to work out!” The muscular troll called out, dignified, from where he was toweling off in the bathroom.

I rubbed the back of my neck, embarrassed. “You should see the other guy,” John interjected, stepping in and wrapping an arm around my shoulders like it was a common motion, despite the short time we had been aware of the others interest. Jade waggled an eyebrow at it but said nothing else.

“Are you just saying that to disguise the fact that Dave totally got beat up, or was it actually an equal fight?”

“Well, not to brag or anything, but Dave totally knocked the other guy out. And he was way bigger. This little blond had got a mean right hook.”

I managed to keep a blank face, despite how I was pink all down my neck. Jade’s eyebrows stopped trying to fly off her face, and instead stayed perched high on her forehead.

“How was your date, then?” She asked.

My blush grew deeper, but I didn’t flinch in the face of a threat. “It was fine. Wet out, stole some shit, beat people up for money, ran from the cops. Pretty basic first date. Now, if you don’t mind, we have some unfinished business. The police officers interrupted us before we could properly finish it.” Ignoring his confused exclamations, I pulled John out the door and down the stairs. There were no windows that the rest of the group could stare out at us, thank god, and we were far enough away that they couldn’t overhear anything we said.

I stopped and turned to face him, the relaxed and calm façade that I put o in front of them dropping away to show him how uncertain I was about all of this. Likewise, John lost his confident display and smiled awkwardly at me, a hand carding through his hair out of nervous habit. I smiled at that. Hesitantly, he reached out a removed my glasses. I let him, the soft lighting out here not enough to give me a migraine. With my final defense taken way I was nearly sick with nerves, knowing what I wanted to do.

“Listen, John, I had a really good time today. And I know we’re just going to walk back in there so it kind of defeats the purpose of the whole cliché of talking over the date at the door but…”

He nodded, taking a step forward. “I had fun too. Honestly, though, it would have been just fun if we just spent the whole day out in that barn. So long as I got spend it with you, ya know? Sorry, I’m not really good at this whole being romantic’ thing but-“

“Can I kiss you?” I interrupted him with a breathless question, but I couldn’t really wait much longer when he was all red in the face and smiling the way he was. Sapphire eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, a dark blush spreading over his cheekbones. I swear, we were both going to be permanently red in the face b the time the night was done.

He sputtered out a string on non-sensual words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just ask you out of the blue like that, I just…” My eyes darted to the ground and stuck there until I felt his hand cup my cheek.

I lifted my head to look into his eyes, as sappy as it sounds, and the awkward virgin in me shut up for once. What sweet relief.

“Actually, I was thinking the same thing.” His eyes slipped shut and I let mine do the same, tilting up as his head lowered to meet me halfway. For a second I felt his hot breath wash over me, and then there was nothing but his lips on mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have next to no time (or energy) to write most of the time. I'm not giving up on this, and I'm really sorry to any readers, but updates are gonna be sparse. I'm trying to get as much of this down as I can, but it's a struggle to balance this with school. Shits gonna hit the fan pretty soon (next chapter, maybe?), and I'm really glad I can write them being gay together! But who knows when that'll be coming out :/


	16. On the Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After wrapping up their... interesting date, the group makes plans to return to the life of nomads, saving every life the can along the way.

Dave tasted like something I can’t describe, but I’ll try. It was like peppermint, but not cold and sharp the way mints are. He was like the bricks laid in front of a fireplace when it was lit. He was being curled up in a quilt with the love of your life. He was holding hands in the dead of winter. I pressed insistently closer, wanting to be enveloped in him, and it seemed that he had the same idea. The hand that hadn’t slipped around the back of his head to tangle in his shaggy hair gravitated towards the small of his back. That heavy touch pressing us together was what made him gasp, pulling away from my lips. Only for a few seconds, as I chased his and captured them again.  
For a first kiss, all in all, it was better than I had expected. It was obvious that he was inexperienced, yes, but that just let me take control. He gave everything up to me, lips moving in unison with mine. I didn’t push my luck and kept my tongue way from his, letting the kiss die out after a minute.  
The next time he pulled away to catch his breath I let him, though I kept my hold that pressed him close to me. A light blush covered his face and neck, and I’d bet good money that it extended down to his shoulders. We were close enough that I felt his every breath against my neck, and mine ruffled his hair with every exhale.  
“Um, wow, that was… Wow…” Dave muttered, glancing shyly up at my face before his gaze dropped back to my collarbones.  
“Did I live up to all the first kiss expectations?” I joked, but the expression he wore didn’t change from abashed awe. Instead of using words, he just nodded. “Did I break you?” I asked after a long stretch of silence, filled only with our breathing as we tried to control it.  
His response was to bury his face in my neck. Only when he was shielded from view did he voice his thoughts. “I’m fine I just… That was a really good kiss, okay? Was it… Was I good enough for you?”  
Ah, he was worried. It was reasonable to be concerned, since he had absolutely no experience. I was more than happy to take the lead show him the ropes, teach him everything I knew about kissing through lots of practice.  
“It was very enjoyable on my end as well.” I chuckled when he let out a whine against my throat but let him stay tucked up against me for a while. The air was catching a chill, though, and we had to go in soon, I reminded him.  
He started to pull away from me but paused, eyes jumping up to mine for second before he leaned back in, pressing a short and sloppy kiss to the corner or my mouth. I grinned, trying to chase him to get payback for the surprise, but he ducked out of my hold and scurried away.  
Everyone else was getting ready to settle down for the night, setting out blankets and changing clothes in the corner. Nepeta and Equius were, as always, laying out their sleeping bags side by side. Aradia, who had never been one for sleeping, had her own little niche with a lamp and stack of books. Jade was fluffing a pillow, Karkat broke into his chocolate stash for desert, and Sollux had pulled out the dusty hand-held he clung vehemently, despite the batteries it required to run. No one spoke a word until we were all laying under our blankets, and even then it was Aradia asking if everyone was ready for ‘lights out.’ Jade called out a ‘good night’ to the all of us, as she did every night, and we muttered the same back in unison. Then, like nothing had happened and there was no awkward tension, we went to sleep.  
The rest of the stay in the zone went smoothly, if a bit boring. There was no more alcohol, and no more illegal activities. Dave and I didn’t have time to do any romancing, as I kept being pulled away to check on this and that as we prepared to head off again. Every missing piece and broken part of the truck was replaced and fixed, every fluid refilled. With the goods Ben- the town leader- paid us, we went on a shopping trip for food, and anything else hard to find on the road. One thing I was sure to stock up on was medicine. No such thing as too many drugs, I always say.   
Alas, the sun rose on the day we were to embark once again on the road. We piled barrels of fresh water into the back of the truck, alongside plastic tubs stuffed with all the medicine the town could afford to pay us in. Food that was harder to preserve- bread and fresh vegetables, mostly, baked and grown in the safezone- we filled coolers with. Karkat drove the second car in the caravan, a small four-seater, with Sollux, Nepeta, and Equius. Dave sat beside me in the cab of the truck, Jade beside him. Aradia rode in the bed like she always did, by her own accord. Most of the zone watched us as we drove by. Shouting farewells, thanks, and good lucks at us until the gates closed with a resounding thud. Then we were alone, the silence rushing in to fill the empty space.   
The group felt so much smaller without Jake or Vriska. The fact that they were gone hit me again in a wave, and from the look on her face Jade was facing that realization, too.   
Once we reached the house we had store all of our salvaged goods, filling the two vehicles went quickly. It was a tight fit, as always when we first left safezones, but we had managed to make it work before with more people. It helped that Dave insisted on riding his motorcycle, freeing up one more seat. Eventually he would have to ditch it- open vehicles were too much of a risk for long-distance travel- but for now we could fit two more boxes of canned vegetables and boxed dinners in his place.   
In the end we had to leave some stuff behind, so we were sure to tape a note on the door. Whoever came by next, either another nomad or workers from the zone, would get their own fleece blankets and pounds of dry pasta. Honestly, people seemed to stock up on that when the world went to shit.   
The rest of the day was boring- driving on a bland highway, not encountering anything alive or dead, just… Driving. Jade took over halfway through when my legs started cramping big time, and Sollux traded off on Dave’s bike. The It took some awkward maneuvering but the blond ended up in the back of the truck with me, Aradia sitting next to Jade, just to giving us privacy. We sat in silence for a minute before Dave let out a deep sigh, stretching his arms above his head and draping one over my shoulders. He thought he was so cool.   
I chuckled, taking comfort in the warm weight. The silence lost its uncomfortable air and we were content to just rest in each other’s presence. It was different from interacting with the rest of the group. Only two weeks of knowing him and it was obvious, he was something else. I would be fine if it was just the two of us against the world. I wouldn’t need to constant movement and action I seeked now. He was all the entertainment I would need.   
Of course, it had only been two weeks. I could just as quickly learn some unbearable quirk of his, or the spark between us could simmer out. Who knew how this would end up.   
I was jerked out of my mind when Jade braked suddenly. Dave’s arm around my tightened protectively, something that lit a small fire in my belly, and I whipped my head around to see what was obstructing us.   
A smoking car, surrounded by the undead. They were eating something, most likely someone. Dave stood up in a flash, catching my eye and asking my opinion on the situation. I knew he could take care of them himself, but grabbed my hammer before nodding. He’s off in a flash, giving me the feeling that he was getting just a bit bored. I jumped out of the truck after him, just in time to watch him pierce the skull of the last corpse. Then it’s done, we climb back into the truck like nothing happened, and were back on our way.  
The first few days follow this pattern. Driving non-stop on empty roads, making detours here and there when the cars began to pile up, the only opportunity to really stretch out when we encountered a small group of zombies. Nights we set up a watch cycle, one person guarding us while the others slept. It was less protection from the undead and more against wild animals and unfriendly travelers. Dinner was usually cans of food heated up over the fire, and we slept on any flat surface we could find. Dave seemed to have trouble adapting to this lazy style, but I reassured him that it would be over before he could grow to appreciate the rest.  
We were working our way towards an alleged zone in what had once been Fayetteville, Arkansas (keep in mind that we can only drive around 30 to 40 miles per hour so as not to alert any herds of our position, and there was a lot of backtracking). The sun baked the pavement around us, and from my mirrors I could see that Dave was just beginning to experience fatigue from the heat as he road his bike- the stubborn fool had yet to give it up, claiming that it was ‘perfectly fine at keeping up,’ and that there was ‘no reason to abandon his first-born child like that.’ Gradually traversing the interstate, packed with dead cars, undead dispersed amongst the mess. Subtly enough that I didn’t recognize it until Jade poked my arm, the sound of a car horn filled the stifling air. Dave glanced up at me before revving his engine, his input in the situation- he wanted to investigate. With a wary sigh I nodded and he passed me, motorcycle roaring down the road towards the cause of the now-blaring sound. In the middle of the day as it was, zombies would be drawn to the noise. We would have to be especially cautious if we wanted to make it out unharmed.   
When I arrived at the scene, I was surprised to see that Dave was waiting off to the side and, more shocking, the corpses were still shambling around the wreckage. It appeared that a group- only one car, so perhaps just a family- had hit a zombie (I could see the trail of blood and other bodily components smeared on the pavement behind the car). Said corpse must have clung to the underside, completely fucking up the car. They lost control trying to dodge another that emerged from the crowd of cars to our right, and hit the median. It still didn’t explain the horn, sounding loud enough to call at the undead within almost a mile to the collision. Eyeing a stumbling, rotting sack of flesh suspiciously, I climbed out and joined Dave.   
“They hit one, lost control, and crashed. Driver died- apparently someone wasn’t wearing their seat belt- and they’re laying on the horn as we speak. There are two warm bodies in there, I hear someone shouting when I pulled up.” Dave paused after explaining what he had learned about the scene, going so far as to take of his sunglasses to look me in the eye as he said, “We have to do something. There two aren’t going to die when we could have prevented it.”   
I nodded, agreeing with his statement. Still, we needed to approach this in such a way that no one in the group got hurt. The others had gradually joined us, and awaited instruction. “We need a group to take care of all the corpses making their way here. Karkat, Jade, Sollux, and Aradia, that’s gonna be you. Nep, Equius, Dave, and I are going to take care of those around the car and then get to work doing what we can to save the people trapped in there. As always, your life is first priority. Don’t do anything stupid, guys. Got it?” The echoing ‘got it’ was only faintly heard over the still-screaming car horn. People took off, some jogging while others ran to do their job. The three others I was working with approached the vehicle in a vague line, leaving a space in center for me and my hammer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know I'm a horrible author! I ca't believe its been, like five months... Luckily I have another chapter after this that I'm going to post in a few days (hopefully) and the action will be picking up. Again, I'm very sorry to anyone interested in this fic who thought it abandoned.


	17. Fun Times on the Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave isn't having a good day, basically.

Swift strokes cut down the  dead bodies, but it just so happened to be that this neck of the woods was pretty heavily infested. It seemed that no matter how many times I swung and crushed skulls, there was one to replace it. In the distance, I could hear the others experiencing the same problem I was. No matter- I was content with plowing through these monsters all day if it meant I was saving lives.

The sound of metal striking metal shook me out of the hazy state I had fallen into, and I saw that I had, at last, reached the car. The others were right beside me, and it seemed like the other side was cleared up almost completely as the zombies migrated over, trying to get a taste of our flesh. Instructing Nepeta and Equius to check that side for any remaining corpses as well as possible ways we could reach those hiding inside, Dave and I tried the doors on the side we were currently on. I ended up just completely ripping the driver’s side door off, pulling the body out of the seat and off the horn. The silence that followed was almost eerie, and I was close to looking at Dave just to reassure myself that he was there. It seemed that the blond was right- the Driver had been half-way ejected from his seat, the windshield shattered from where his skull had crashed into it. There was no way, this far from proper civilization, he would survive with that type of potential head trauma. 

I crawled into the car, facing the two passengers in the back seat. If there had been someone riding shotgun, they were long gone. Kids stared back at me, faces pale and eyes wide. A brother and sister, it appeared, the youngest still in a booster seat while his older sister, thin and lanky like everyone seemed to be nowadays, held him protectively. They both wore narrow horns sticking out of thick, black hair- obviously trolls, though I was worse at telling their age than that of humans. 

Trolls, though rarer than humans in rural areas, weren’t really a sight to see. After they migrated to our prosperous planet, they found their homes in heavily populated towns where prejudice was fought against with unions and courts. Out here in the countryside, it was harder to find a lawyer willing to help you protect your right to property you bought, when a human argued that you should go back to your alien planet. 

“My name is John. Me and my group are here to help you. Are you injured?” When all I got was terrified stares in response to my question, I sighed. I had dealt with shock and trauma before, but it never really got easier for me. It wasn’t something I usually experienced myself, so I didn’t fully understand how to respond to it. 

As I began to pull myself out, intending to pull the seat out and carry the children away from the wreck, the taller- and presumably, older- one spoke. Rather shakily, as if she was scared. “We’re fine, we can move. Please don’t leave us.” 

I sighed, only because of how she had interpreted my actions. “Can you crawl up front and out of the car for me? The back doors seem to be a bit busted by the, uh, corpses.” They both hesitantly nodded and unbuckled their seatbelts, the smallest making his way towards me first. I waited until they were both crouched in the passenger seat before clambering out. I stretched my back and squinted at the sunset, which glared back into my eyes. When had it gotten so late? I could have sworn it had been mid-day just ten minutes ago-

A flash of movement at my side made me whirl around, eyes widening and mind slowing to a crawl as I interpreted what I was seeing. The open jaws of a corpse, so close I could smell the flesh it had eaten for its last meal, the brush of it’s breath against my shoulder. How had I been so stupid? How had I let my guard down, missing the obvious signs that danger had been approaching? The undead didn’t know how to be quiet; they groaned and ran into things and shuffled their feet, sounds ingrained in my mind as  _ danger, bad, death. _ Still, here I was, about to become the meal of this walking cadaver. Everything I had done, all of the monsters I had killed, finally coming back to bite me- literally. 

Why hadn’t I been bitten yet? I couldn’t remember closing my eyes but I found myself opening them in confusion. I should be feeling red-hot pain along my right side as blunt teeth tore muscle from bone, severing blood vessels and snapping tendons. Where was the fire that should be making me scream, or cry, or at least flinch? 

Once again, my brain froze and stuttered, unable to comprehend what my eyes were telling it. I was pressed against the side of the car, the metal frame pressing harshly into my back, my balance unsteady from apparent sudden movement. In front of me stood Dave, my knight in black aviators, sword piercing the skull of the zombie that tried to make a meal out of me. Right above the ear, plunged in to the hilt. I breathed a sigh of relief, which quickly turned to ice in my lungs. Something was wrong. I could see his blood-red eyes (where had his glasses gone? Wouldn’t he get a migraine?), and they glimmered with pain and fear and- was that pride?

He wasn’t smirking, like me always did when he saved me from some idiotic situation I put myself in. He was shocked, just like me, but there was something else in the way he watched me. Something that made my heart pound in my chest and my brain kept looping  _ No no no no no… _ His lips were tight, brow furrowed, and I could see his jaw twitching as he held back whatever sounds his mind was screaming. 

Though I wished I could deny what I was slowly realizing to be true, my eyes betrayed me and traveled to his arm. The one not holding the broadsword. My view had been concealed by his weapon previously, but as he pulled his sword out of the zombie’s head and let the arm dangle at his side, I received a clear view of what had put an end to all of my thoughts. Those very same teeth that I had envisioned tearing, ripping, devouring, were buried in his shoulder. I couldn’t move, even as he threw his sword to the side and took a shuddering step towards me. The corpse moved with him for a second before pulling loose from its grip and slumping to the ground. His bloody wound, rivers of crimson staining his grey shirt. I was frozen, watching as he tried to smile despite the very obvious fact that he had been sentenced to death.

“Sorry babe, but I couldn’t just stand there. Better me than you, anyway.” 

He fell in slow motion, eyes closing and muscles relaxing as everything seemed to collapse at once, and all I could do was stand there, oblivious to the screams of my group, the hands pulling at my shirt, the tears running down my face. All I could do was stand there, waiting for the shock to set in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol sorry! I know this chapter is a bit short but I'll try to make it up to you next time!


	18. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, basically.

_ It was all a dream, it was all a dream, it was all a dream… When I open my eyes, everyone’ll be okay. Those kids lived, the group’s fine, no one got bitten. It was all a dream, it was all a dream, it was all a dream… _

The first this I saw when I opened my eyes was the fire light reflecting off John’s glasses. The first thing I heard was his muttering, so quiet I couldn’t understand a thing he was saying. The first thing I smelt was cooking meat, the scent almost enough to make me retch. But the first thing I felt overpowered all of those, muting them and burying them. Pain, waves of fire washing over my body. Apparently I make a noise, something between a groan and a scream, because John’s head snapped towards me and everything narrowed down to him. The way his hair was standing up, like he was been trying to pull it out. The quiver of his lower lip as he tried to find to nerve to say something. The tracks down his cheeks that spoke leagues of how he had been passing the time while I had been asleep. His shaking hands that told me he hadn’t been doing much else. I tried to form words- rather, one word. The only word I could think of, the one that blotted even the overwhelming pain coursing through my body. 

“John.”

He scrambled towards me, wavering between throwing himself on top of my prone body and hovering just out of reach. With a weak hand I made the choice for him, wrapping my uninjured arm around his shoulders and pulling him flush to my chest. I ignored how any movement made the fire surge in my veins, threatening my consciousness, because even though we were both the biggest of dumbasses, I could still hold him. For the next twenty-four hours, at least, I could hold him. That’s all I wanted to do.

Before I had a chance to truly cherish the feeling, he pulled back and wiped away the stray tears still running down his face. “Why did you have to do that?”

I winced, struggling to shift into a more comfortable position. I didn’t want to have this conversation while I was lying down. His hands fluttered over me, unsure if his touch would cause more harm than help. 

Once situated better, propped up against a large rock I had been lying beside, I stared intently at my hands. “There wasn’t enough time for me to think. I looked over at you and it was just  _ right there, _ and I had to act immediately. You would have died John, either killed by that monster before we could help you or burned out by the fever and turned into one of them. You have a group to lead, right? They can’t have you dying on them like that. You’re more important than me, I know, so I put myself between it and you. Simple as that.” My head was still spinning, and the very apparent lack of shades was only aiding my pain. John was saying something, his lips were moving and he staring at me like he wanted nothing more than to grab me by the shoulders and shake me, but it was as if I had a bubble around me. Everything was muted and it was only when he reached out and held my shoulders that I realized I was swaying. 

My head broke above the water and I could hear John, begging me to be okay. I blinked a few times, swallowing down the bile in my throat at the flood of pain and confusion. Words refused to come out of my throat, only a groan as I tipped my head back. It took a few minutes before I could raise my head again and look at John. He was frowning, eyes once again moist. “Dave? What’s wrong?” 

I was tempted to shake my head in an attempt to clear it, but knew I would start spewing at the slightest movement. “I’m dying, aren’t I?”

He started crying again, hands reaching for me and stopping just a few inches short. Like he was scared of me, of this disease now coursing through my veins. 

“Where’s everyone else?” 

John’s face froze, the only sign of time’s passage the flow of the tears down his cheeks. “They… They left. They had to keep going and finish the job. They offered to give you a ride back to a zone, but it would have set them back by almost a full day, and I couldn’t… I can’t leave you, Dave. I can’t lose you.”

“What are you gonna do when I turn?”

“Can we not talk about that?” John ducked his head. 

“We need to, John. You’re going to have to kill me… Kill  _ it. _ ” 

We were both crying now, but John’s face was twisting up, ready to fight. “I can’t do that. You know I can’t do that.”

I sighed, eyes slipping shut. This conversation was making my head pound, the poisoned blood pumping in my veins feeling like venom, burning me from the inside out. “Okay. Okay, John.” 

I faded in and out of consciousness, bleary vision observing as John went about, cooking his dinner and setting up a perimeter or soup can-chains and fishing line strung between tree branches. When I could finally keep my eyelids raised for more than a few seconds, John was settling down to sleep across the fire from me. I let out a near-silent whine, tensing my muscles hesitantly, trying to determine whether or not I could manage the journey over to him. He raised his head, the slight sound I had made carrying over the ringing of silence. 

“What’s wrong?” His voice was groggy with exhaustion, and I felt a pang in my heart which hurt more than my wound. It was my fault he was running himself ragged, crying over my stupid decisions, setting up camp solo. Now I was keeping him from his sleep. 

He grew anxious in my silence. When I was finally able to pull myself onto my knees, falling forward to brace myself on my palms, he jerked up from where he was lying down. “Dave, what are you doing?” He sounded terrified. 

My stomach was bubbling, acid churning and rising up my throat. I retched a few times, spitting out the bile before I started crawling over to him. He froze, but I didn’t look up. I couldn’t make eye contact with him as I stumbled, elbows giving out at random intervals, pausing every foot or so to dry heave. It was likely a gruesome sight, watching the one you loved make his way, dying, over to you. I couldn’t think about that now. All I could think about was getting over to John, and having the opportunity to hold him. I didn’t want to spend my last night as a person alone. 

It took we far too long to circle the small fire John had lit, and by the end I was spitting up equal parts bile and blood, my throat raw and burning from the constant retching. When I found myself at John’s feet, I wiped my mouth and took a few grounding breaths, muscles quivering from exhaustion. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to be alone. Don’t make me be alone.” I was close to tears, red irises and reddening sclera on display as they had been for the entire night; I suddenly realized how exposed I was, an open nerve braving the elements, a man laid out on the operating table for all to see my organs. I found I didn’t mind. 

John didn’t respond with words, simply unzipped his sleeping bag and lifted the fabric. I crawled in beside him, knowing my skin was freezing compared to his, and I reeked of vomit. He didn’t mention it, and I loved him all the more for it. 

“Goodnight,” I whispered into the overheated air we shared. He pressed his forehead into my uninjured shoulder, hot breath washing over my frigid skin and drawing out a shiver. As the tension leaked out of his muscles I could tell he was falling asleep, the weight of stress being lifted off his shoulders as he dreamt. I didn’t want to lose consciousness; I didn’t want to lose my last opportunity to share this moment with him. When the sun rose, I would begin to turn. This disease would eat my body gradually, and in just two days I would be nothing more than a shell. I wanted to cherish this night.

Tomorrow I was going to have to keep my distance from John. There had to be some way to separate myself from him, so that my turning wouldn’t lead to his death. Perhaps being locked away would work? It would also rid John of the responsibility of ending his life. 

This was a topic to think and talk about tomorrow, though. Tonight I just wanted to focus on the weight of his head on my shoulder, and the steady rise and fall of our lungs, breath mingling in the atmosphere around us. If I could focus solely on that, it would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I suck at updating. I'm so sorry about leaving any readers on a cliff hanger, I'm such a shitty writer ugh...


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